She's been my T for 2 years. She's been the person I have gone to when the rest of the world abandoned me, and now she does the same. I don't think I will ever understand what happened. I cannot imagine being over her anytime in the near future; if ever. She brought something into my life, showed me love in a way that I never knew existed. WE shared moments together that felt incredibly healing, but lines blurred and boundaries crossed. My needs became 2nd as hers took prominence. The hugs became too tight, a little too long and lingering. The words shared were too potent; too filled with emotion that we both never took the time to check in on one another's understanding. What did it mean when she told me she cared or that she loved me? What did I mean when I told her the same?

The complex situation we were in grew even more complex as our relationship progressed. I questioned her intentions. She cracked under pressure. All I have left are her final words, a secret between us that I will bury deep within my heart. I don't know what I am feeling. I cannot label the storm she created here in my chest.

Abandonment by therapist is devastating. I feel pain for those who have experienced this in any form. I especially feel for those who have experienced it abruptly, with no explanation, and when boundaries were SO far crossed that you couldn't tell which way was up.

I sat in shock today on the couch; I felt trapped inside my head. I wonder where she is? I wonder if she ever thinks of me?