Okay so, I'm going to see how much I can type right now.. lol.
FIrst off, I have this great link to a online research study on ACT- Acceptance and Committment Therapy for people with Anxiety. Here is information and also just a great site with informaiton on ACT- which I guess can be best described as one person put it "the new wave of cognitive therapies" at the moment. I can't say if it's timing or what but for me, I'm pretty much in love with it.. at least for myself in dealing with chronic pain. I did sign up for this study and part of it as I want to keep furthering my skills in ACT and keep it into practice.
Here is the website: http://www.actforanxiety.com/ACTforAnxiety_Study_Index.html
I was part of a Eight week program comparing ACT to CBT (Cognitive Behavoral Therapy) for people with chronic pain. It was held in small groups and the psychologist was awesome. She was very nice and really connected with the group members. She's a post-doc and while working in research, is also doing a lot of work that is theraputic clinical work within the research setting so I think that's quite cool.
In my group, there were 5 of us... 2 males, rest of us girls plus our therapist. I was the youngest of the group by quite a bit which isn't really new when it comes to chronic pain groups that I have been in. Most people had pain at least for 8 years chroinically and more and that was one BIG difference for me because in the past, other groups I had been in.. support groups, therapy groups or whateverrf, a lot of the people were pretty new to chronic illness/pain and I personally feel this does really shape the way a group runs. Most of the time, it becomes How to cope with it 101 vs anything useful for the veterans of these issues.
ACT uses a lot of mindfulness type work as well as the idea of reaching your goals that relate to your values within the situations you are dealing with. Not to say anything will get worse or better but basicaly this is how it is right now so how can I move on wirth my life with all of these other things that are going on with me?...
To me, it seems soo simple yet to hear it and the anaologies and putting it into practice is very helpful. For me, I found it something that can really free me from getting so stuck into certain patterns of struggling. When y ou have a chronic illness, people tend to expect certain things like lots of pressure to seek the latest treatment or accept treatments that mwybne you personally are not happyh with but feel pressured by family, friends and the medical profession to pursue. Somehow this ACT really helped me to evaluate what I need for me and well forget everyone else.. they can like it or lump it basically.
The thing I gained most about mindfulness is about having willingness and openness to eeal with unpeasent symptoms, situationa and things. They happen... and mindfulness isnt all about what is bad or uncomfortable either howeverf, for me and im sure many people, this is something that is difficult to not think about are the bad things that are happening and working on mindfulness seems to increase tollerence for the range of feelings. emnotions, sensations, states etc going on.
During the treatment process, we were not allowed to do individual therapy well we could btu we couldnt while in the study. So I just returned back to individual therapy last week to be exact. I have anew therapist that i met once already right before this 8 week ACT intervention began and I like her so far. She's a bit pushy but I actually think that as much as I dont like that, I need it too.
Biggest problem for me besides my hands right now.. wellk not the biggest but something going on for me emotionally is some major major triggers that really set my body off center. or more off the off center than it already was. The triggers lead to much more severe dissociation that I ussualy get and stuff I havent felt happening to me in over 10 years. It was VERY scary and I felt very alone and mostly just not knowing what to do. My therapist was out of town and just no one I could really feel able to call... i couldnt really manage phone calls anyways but couldnt really think of anyhone to call who would comprehend what i meant! I did have one friend i could talk to some and she does have a greater understandingt han the average so we talkede off and on late in the night when i wasnt bale to sleep at all and it helped.
It's hjard to feel tollerent of my minds/body reaction to these things especialy intellectually and rationally knowing that things are fine and im safe but that part of me reacting very opposite of that. I found myself feeling very nauseated a great deal.... i find that is one of my major symptoms of getting triggerd is that i feel badly like throwing up.
My new therapist.. Maiko.. she is Japanese.. from Japan too. She went to graduate school here in the USA but culturally she is Japanese and I really like that. She is a neuropsychology nerd which is cool wto me because i love neuropsych too.
My problem I had with her this last week though is that she didn't reallyu bring the session down at the end.. you know that whole.. wrapping things kinda up I suppose... I dont know if it was her lack of awareness and or my inability to express that I REALLY need this especially when i am really activated and maynbe she didnt realize it.. i dont know..... all i know is that i lfet feeling horrible. My body felt so hyperalert and sensitive that I had to get home and it took forever with the bus.. it was not fun riding at all b/c i just needed to feel safe and didnt. I came home and managed to eat only cause my mom had company (AUGH) and than I got into the shower for a bit over an hour to help calm down the feeling of.. oh yeh.. thats my anaology.. i felt like i had static all over me and i needed to calm it down so the shower really helepd...
anyone else expereince that sort of thing, thoughts comments, etc??
Okay I have sooo overtyped and really feeling it so I best stop.
Im a bit behind on reading here but do what i can. Just wish I was able to respond more.
Thanks everyone for the nice wb, etc on my ,last message.
Ciao
