Golly JJ, i am from the UK too, so one idea is do what I did and go to your GP and ask for a referral to the clinical psychologist, it takes about 3- 4 months in my area on the waiting list but they can usually see you for longer.

As for dealing with the ending issue, how tough for you. I really sympathize. I wonder if you would consider seeing him privately for a while, if that is an option, whilst you tail off your sessions?

Also, maybe look up a support group which is connected to your specific problem - but coming here to this forum is also a good support line.

Thank you for posting.

You can make sure he knows how hard ending is for you and make sure the last few sessions are really covering your needs around this so that you feel heard.

And I am sorry but there will be heartache around it so sympathy.

I know he has got a private practice -although I only know this through my bizarre behaviour of trying to find out more about whatever is my current object of transference. I know where he lives through stuff I have tracked on the net but I think that there are boundary issues and ethical issues of me going from NHS/Charity to private practice. I may just have to bite the bullet and ask him whether he has a private practice ( I know -I know but dont want to let on I do) and whether he covers abuse as currently he I am nor sure I could walk into an office and say that I wanted to talk about abuse

JJ - I encourage you to ask the questions about private practice and whether he covers abuse. Also, to get into your transference feelings. Even if you don't end up able to continue with your T, I think it will be hard to work through without letting a little light in there. I know it can be hard after so few sessions. I am compulsively vulnerable with T, and at six months in, confessed directly how intense my transference with him was. It was the scariest thing I have done, but T seems to know exactly where I'm at since then and is so attuned as a result. Even if it doesn't work out for you to continue (so sorry if this is the case), he might be able to help you realize how you'd like to proceed from where you're at. I don't know much about how your health plans work in the UK (beyond a little research from when my H was almost transferred), so I'm probably not the best person to ask. We have to pay for everything out of pocket (I'll look at a new plan on my H's next open enrollment in November) right now, so even though it's expensive and we can't really afford it, I don't have to worry that insurance will cut me off from T.

Hi, JJ, and welcome..cute name!

I'm sorry that you are caught in a system that seems to not be giving you what you need here. I like everyone's suggestions, and don't have a lot of practical advice to add, except, that as you are going through this it will be really, really important to get as much support in place, however you possibly can. This place is a great resource, especially if you can stick around through the inevitably uncomfortable first few weeks of posting until you know people better and start to feel like a part of the group- not that you aren't already, but- you know what I mean- like anything new, it gets better and easier the longer you stay here, so I encourage you to stick around on here, if you like it and want to. I think it seems very appropriate to ask if you can continue with your current T privately, if you can afford it, but I'm not familiar with your system, so I'm just saying that therapeutically speaking, it wouldn't be an unusual request at all. Or try, as Sadly said, the clinical phychologist route. I don't think your T would be surprised at all at such a question, though. and he should be helping you, if you ask him to, with this transition. And if it isn't going to work out, it's gonna be really painful, so please, don't be alone in it. Come here, and also get creative to find any other means of therapeutic support you can!

and- welcome!

Blackbird

REading the previous posts reminded me that some therapists have it written into their contract with the NHS that they cannot reveal they are in private practice. (So they are not catching new private clients by working in the NHS) so it may be that you say you independently are prepared to pay and go private with him and so is he happy with that, since your NHS contract is finishing.
Or go the clinical psychologist route, which could give you a year or two of more free therapy.

keep us posted.

Hi JJ, I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to say welcome to the forum and I understand how hard it must be finishing with your T. Is the 20 session limit set by the NHS (PCTs vary a lot and in my area NHS CBT is limited to 10 sessions - don't you just love the postcode healthcare lottery!)or your T - can it be extended at all. I can't see why there would be an issue seeing him privately and as for finding it out the internet if the site you looked at is about his proffesional practice then it is ment to be seen by clients.

Thanks for all the replies. The session was today. I am still very tearful- still very mixed. I asked about seeing him privately and he said he isnt allowed to see ones privately that he has seen else where- kind of as I thought
I managed to pluck up the courage to ask him about the best type of therapy for abuse and he has said face to face stuff- he said that would obviously have to be with someone I trusted - which I used as lead in to ask about his private practice.
I dont think the fact I was abused shocked him ( he nodded and said right) more when I discussed my husbands reaction to be told (H went out got drunk asked a few more qs and has never spoken of it again to be fair I havent) when I said what he had done T gasped- which surprised me.
I have had a total of 22 sessions there are allowed to go over a little and we did.
We talked a little about the option of returning to same place ( although I suspect not with him) for person centred counselling but also discussed that if I struggled to continue on the CBT it may be possible to do level 2 cbt (level one is net on your own no support level 2 is net/book with telephone support)