******trigger warning: weather related triggers ahead*****

Hi

last night was very rough. As I was falling asleep, a very loud clap of thunder startled me out of bed, litterally. The falsh of ligting hit the same time (which means it ws very close). It was also strong enough that it car alarms went off. (It shakes the normally very dry air where I live hard enough to shake cars). This has happened before - and it usually startles me quite a bit. I tend to be pretty careful and watchful about lighting, just like most people here. I've never ben outside with close lighting and I'm not generallay afraid of getting hit by lighting. It just makes me jump no matter what. When it did hit so close last night, I jumped. I also dissociated. I think I have been in a very activated state lastely, and somehow, after jumping, I then went numb. I couldn't feel my body at all. I quickly started to do everything I could to ground. We have had flash flood watches all day yesterday (part of why I was already on alert). I have lived here for quite some time, and we have never seen a year like this and never had such serious flood warnings and concerns. I needed to stay gounded so I could stay safe if I needed to hit tail it out. Thankfully, I did ground and when the flood sirens did go off (and my phone vibrated getting the reverse 911 call) another two hours later, I was ok enough to get it and go. (And, even better, only the parking lot of our building flood about a foot, and then drained pretty quick.) It's going to htankfully be at least a week before another round of high temps (and snow melting upstream too fast) and heavy rain. I have never ever had to evcauate for flood warning. Our city is being very extra careful this summer, and I'm glad, as the risk is at record levels this summer - and they have done a great job of clearing all drainage so that rain and snow mealt levels that norally would have lead to flooding have done so. I also live on the second floor, so the biggest concern is to just get me and my cat out safe. I have friends who have room for me to stay, but last night I stayed here to be with my cat who gets very nervous to go elsewhere. (then once we had the warning to get out, I took her with me) I have never dissociated with the fear of bad weather comming up for me, and it really doesn't help. I don't know what to do... I talked to my T about it, and started to numb out just talking of it... I think I really need to keep working on lowering my over all activated state... I've never been through a flash flood or even a serious flood before. It scares me. I'm also tired of jumping through the roof with the lighting. I am also sick, so I suppose that is lowering my threshold for dissociation too? I know the cold medication does, and maybe just being tired and sick does as well...?

ugh, I will be glad when all this passes.

jane