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Alcohol

spagirlspagirlMember
Hi Everyone,

I have a question related to, guess who, my MOM! If you need the backstory on our relationship, there are VOLUMES here.

Currently, she has been on Weight Watchers, so her wine intake HAD to decrease and it seemed like her mood had improved CONSIDERABLY. She was even NICE consistently for a whole week! Yesterday, we went to the movies and both laughed our heads off. She came to my house in a light, happy mood, and stayed like that until later in the evening. We talked on the phone once she got home, and all was well. I'm also starting Weight Watchers with her, so I looked up the points for a small movie popcorn ... not surprisingly it's ELEVEN! So I called her and told her the news. But luckily, we had shared a small one, so I took the bulk of the 11 and figured hers to be around 4 or 5. We hung up in good spirits and went about making our own dinners of fresh vegetables. Around 9:30 the phone rang. It was her. (PS - She hardly ever calls.) Now her tone of voice had changed COMPLETELY. She seemed to want to start a fight about the points value of movie popcorn. "WW says it's three, and I'm going to put down three." "You just don't know how to use the program, that's your problem." and started trying to throw jabs at me (for no reason or purpose). I defended my 11 points and showed her how that is true ... 480 calories, 32 grams of fat (!), and 7 fiber = 11 points. Then I realized what was wrong. "How many glasses of wine have you had?" "Two." "How man OUNCES have you had?" "Eight". Eight ounces doesn't sound like a lot to me.

So, my question is ... Would such a small amount of alcohol totally transform someone's personality in such a short period of time?

Jekyll and Hyde.

She is 75 and on blood pressure medicine; and she smokes; and she takes other pills for various issues like thyroid, etc.

Any Adult Children of Alcoholics out there who might know the answer?

It's such a shame that she seems unable to maintain a happy disposition. She really seemed to enjoy picking a fight last night. You could almost hear her laughing through it.

Strange.
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spagirlspagirlMember
Thanks to the both of you.

Dragonfly, you start to see behavioral changes after one glass? See, that's what I'm talking about. It's not that she is a fall-down-drunk, but just a little bit seems to flip the switch.

It's AMAZING how NICE she is when she lays off it - and yes, I've told her - and yes, she knows she "shouldn't" drink, but she is in denial "only two glasses". It's the quick switch that puzzles me. From super-kind & generous to hateful and slanderous in less than an hour.

Does anybody know the drug/alcohol contraindications? I'm sure that plays a BIG role. Plus, it's a very hot summer and I've noticed that when I drink even a little my body reacts more strongly to it. I've even had to lie down (and fell hard asleep) after "only two glasses". My friend relates it to how sugar dissolves faster in hot water - since our bodies are mostly water, maybe we process sugar faster in the heat?


Free-on-Thursdays, my heart goes out to you. Watching someone you care about taking an action that you know is hurting them (and you) is so painful.

It's good that we have a place like this to share.

I wish the diet said NO ALCOHOL, maybe then she would stop. But I doubt it. With the cigarettes, and other signs, I think she has an addictive personality (among other things).
spagirlspagirlMember
Yes, it really makes you not trust the happy side of her. I've always described her various behaviors as walking thru a beautiful field with hidden land mines. I always seem to be on guard, never able to totally relax with her. So the fun times, and honestly those are few and far between, get overshadowed by the snarky comments, negativity, and criticisms. It becomes so very exhausting. So, yes, we will have a few days, possibly weeks, of calm seas, but I always know in the back of my mind the storm is brewing. But when is it coming? I will try harder to concentrate on those good moments, like watching her laugh at the movies.
spagirlspagirlMember
Yeah, I have to realize that mom has problems with alcohol, even if it's "just two glasses" of wine.

It's funny how we manage to put disturbing memories out of our mind. As I think back, I remember more and more times when alcohol was the problem. The time when she told a family of Mormons "I'm just a flunky and a drunk." The time on my birthday when we had to literally carry her out of an elegant restaurant (yes, that was embarrassing) and then, as if that wasn't enough, she got worse back at the hotel room to the point where I video taped it for proof. And yet another carrying her out of a restaurant ... and another one --- I wasn't there for that one, but my Aunt told me about it. Those we can (hopefully) blame on a definite medication interaction, but if she didn't have the problem to start with, she would have been able to have tea instead of her fall-back "chardonnay".

The only good news to all of this chaos, is that I am finally getting to a point where I don't tangle myself up in her drama. It's sad really. There could be so much more to her, and to our relationship.

Oh well. It's another day.
spagirlspagirlMember
This is a reply to myself, since I can use this as a diary of sorts. I wrote that I was wary of her good mood and was wondering when Mr. Hyde would show himself again. Well, this thread was written on August 9, 2010 at 10:18 AM (the morning after), and now I've had to post again that Mr. Hyde is B-A-C-K. Today is October 6, 2010. We lasted about two months. Aahhh, it was so nice while it lasted.

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