My stepfather adopted me and raised me for the majority of my life. He's always been a little quirky but overall a pretty good father. However, the last 6 years has been a different story. I'm now 32 and have 4 small children. I also have 3 younger sisters who are his biological children ranging from the age of 16 to 25. okay...back to the last 6 years. The secret of my step father's addiction has come out and the reasons for his really odd behavior lately are now explained. He is addicted to a slew of medications and alcohol. According to my mother his addictions have existed for many years but between the two of them they have hidden it well. Over the last several years he has attempted to overdose and commit suicide. Of the times I am aware of....it has been about 8-10 times. Which now feels more like he's doing it for attention than really trying to end his life. So my sisters and I refer his attempts now to an "episode". It's just getting worse and the emotional involvement is overwhelming for not only me but now my husband and children are being affected. I have tried to help him, love and forgive him each time but the cycle just continues over and over again. The last 2 times he had an episode my children were less than 20 feet away. Pills all over the floor and two hunting knives on the floor used to create artificial cuts on his wrists. The last episode he made a smoothie in a blender consisting of draino and rat poisoning which he drank and ended up in ICU for over a week. It just seems to get crazier and crazier each time and I've had to completely wash my hands of him. I do not trust him whatsoever and I don't want my babies to be anywhere near him.
Well, it's been over a year since his last suicide attempt. My mother insists that he is a different man and is living his life the right way. That he is no longer taking any prescriptions or drinking. My mother desperately wants to have her family back and I feel she will tell me anything I want to hear to get her family back. She wants her daughters to bring their families back over to their home for Sunday dinners and act as if nothing has happened over the last 6 years. And I just can't bring myself to do it. Sure it has been a year of him being sober but I honestly don't believe it. All the lies in the past have put me in this state of denial and trusting either one of my parents at this point is impossible. My children's safety is not worth a Sunday dinner with them. I really just want to move on in life and worry about taking care of my family. I love my mother unconditionally but because of all this I have to stick to what I believe in. If she wants to see the kids she is going to have to do it without my stepfather. Our home is always open to her but she constantly shoves in my face how I should forgive my stepfather and what I'm doing is wrong. In the past I have forgiven him...over and over and over again. When is it enough? How many times do I let this man wreak havoc on my heart? There is sooooo much to the story it's ridiculous but I'm just trying to tell what needs to be told so I can get some advice from those who are from the outside of this situation. Is it wrong of me to completely cut my stepfather out? Along with his problems he has said very mean things and his actions towards me and my sisters have been extremely hurtful.