Not sure I am posting in the right place, or should be posting anyway.

I am just... tired of therapy (and other) feelings?

The GP whom I was seeing, and who was an resident. She is the one managing my meds for bipolar, and also, the first one I somehow trusted, I mean... she seemed to care and not to despise me? It was probably me being unlucky but the 4 others I had seen (because I had been moving a lot) had had the following reactions to me being not terribly okay:
- Show me your wrists! (because I had admitted SIing, so everytime I saw her she'd order me that. While I don't even SI on the wrists, btw.)
- But... you don't look crazy?
- Just suck it up. It's your life you are destroying, so go find a boyfriend.

So... it just sucks that I will have to change again while this one was cool, kind, interested in mental health issues.

But actually, it's not even what bothers me. It is just someone who seemed to care and disappears. Just like my T "will" (I think) inevitably do. I've spent the past hours crying curled up in a ball, and struggling with the SI urges.
Darn, I had not even seen this GP for long. It is not logical, I should not feel that. And what will it be when it will be my T?

Also, SO told me she did not want to talk to me anymore because I fail reacting 'the right way' too often. I guess it does not help feeling joyful.

I guess I am just feeling sad, and abandoned by my T, who has not even done anything, and then ashamed for that. I am just tired of being scared and sad all the time? Do you think that therapy will ever help?