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((((((MUFF))))
"That triggered intense anger, anger I was not permitted to feel back then, and anger that threaten my very existance if I dared to show it."
I so relate to what you said Muff because that was the story in my life too. We weren't allowed to express our emotions because my parents needed to maintain a hold on this fragile reality they created. So painful when I look back now and see how difficult it was living like that.
"It was one thing to know and feel no one loved me, but to not even care? That was a bit harder to accept."
It's really dawning on me now how uncared for I really was. I was allowed to exist in that house only on certain terms. Only part of me was allowed. The other parts were blocked out. Any movement or shifting in the family dynamic wasn't tolerated. We had to all move as one and act as one. There wasn't any space for anyone's needs except Mom's, Dads and perhaps my brother.
I know that they didn't have the capacity to care. They cared the best they cared. My Dad was held together by a pin. My Mom was just limited as a human being. It doesn't mean though that I'm not worth being cared about.
And you neither. Just because they didn't care about us, doesn't mean we don't deserve to be cared about.
Liese
"
"That triggered intense anger, anger I was not permitted to feel back then, and anger that threaten my very existance if I dared to show it."
I so relate to what you said Muff because that was the story in my life too. We weren't allowed to express our emotions because my parents needed to maintain a hold on this fragile reality they created. So painful when I look back now and see how difficult it was living like that.
"It was one thing to know and feel no one loved me, but to not even care? That was a bit harder to accept."
It's really dawning on me now how uncared for I really was. I was allowed to exist in that house only on certain terms. Only part of me was allowed. The other parts were blocked out. Any movement or shifting in the family dynamic wasn't tolerated. We had to all move as one and act as one. There wasn't any space for anyone's needs except Mom's, Dads and perhaps my brother.
I know that they didn't have the capacity to care. They cared the best they cared. My Dad was held together by a pin. My Mom was just limited as a human being. It doesn't mean though that I'm not worth being cared about.
And you neither. Just because they didn't care about us, doesn't mean we don't deserve to be cared about.
Liese
"
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