Well, probably your T can understand what it's like to be short of money, even if that isn't his current circumstance.

It seems like a normal reaction though to be angry and envious about knowing he is traveling to someplace nice and expensive when you can't. That would seem really unfair to me, too I guess the best you could do is express to him how you feel about it, and maybe he will learn in the future to be more sensitive about the kind of information that he shares.

((((ANNA)))))

Oh, I can totally relate. I think it's important that we know our T's get us and understand our struggles, that they can identify with us. My T was coming across to me as this spiffy businessman who cared about looks and money. And I was having trouble trusting him, making assumptions about whether or not he could have those things or be those things and be a caring person and/or get me. Because usually people like that don't have any interest in me. Maybe their values shouldn't play into the equation. But it's worth exploring your feelings on the matter and why it would be important to you.

Maybe part of it seems like he is out there having this wonderful life, traveling to wonderful places while you struggle. And just where do you fit in?

At one point, I had this impression of my T that he was having these wonderful weekends, filled with lots of interesting people and dinner parties and scintilating conversation and hot sex. That he was always in control and never lonely.

And there I was, with this horrible life, such a loser. Why would he have any empathy for me? Wouldn't he be just like everyone else?

I don't think it's just that you're jealous although that could be a part of it.

HUGS,

Liese

I do relate allot with my T , he has child with similar problem like mine and many things, but it’s so stupid that only in last session we were talking about the money and how hard the crisis has hit our country and even he was sometimes thinking how everything is expensive, and then he said he was off next week and I will see him in 2 weeks , and that was ok, I have no money even for gas or more food than just basic so my child can eat, here you have to have a car to get around, but I know he travels allot both with friends and with family in and out of the country, sometimes and many times it has been hard for me to know this, I know he has allot of education and I don’t and he has good salary and he really tries to help me to find a way to point me how he does with his kids and all that, we did some scheduel untill I meet him next week to exersise and drink alot of water go to my work and so on, but now I feel really like crap and cant stop crying and feel awful .
I do respect him a lot and he has been kind and done many thinks more than he should do, I can e-mail him if all is going down, but I don’t want to use that now because I did send him e-mail after our appointment last week and told him my plans and he replied that it was good and told me keep going. but somehow I feel just so angry hurt, and I am just can’t find a way to get it, I went in the gym and try to let my feeling like that out but, I just started to cry when I came to the car.. I just don’t know what to do...
Hugs to you all for answer me , and support .. It really has help alot

Hi Anna,
I'm really sorry that you are in so much pain. I can relate to what you have described. My therapist has much more that I do both socially and financially. I do find it hard at times when I look at what she has and what I don't. I have actually thought about it quite a bit. It can make me yearn for something that I don't feel that is easy for me to achieve. I'm particularly sensitive around and envious of her social network. It can be painful to hear about things that she's planning to do or has done with her family. It's a hard one to work with. I'm glad that you are trying to find ways to work with it - both going to the gym and allowing yourself to cry about it. Maybe simply giving yourself permission to be with the feelings and maybe even talk with your T about them, might help them shift a bit. I have not spoken with my T about my feelings but have realized that I have begun to shift a bit into feeling really happy for her and what she has in her life.