DW, there are a few of us out here in the wilderness. We all seem to be in different places at the moment. I am struggling between ED and alcohol at the moment, they are battling in my head and I am stuck in the middle. Feel free to ask any questions though.

Hi DW, nice to meet you. I struggle with eating and restricting... I don't want to lose weight as much as I want to ensure I don't gain any.

My eating disorder therapist keeps me on track. My symptoms are much worse when I have unmanaged anxiety.

Right now not a lot is helping because I've taken a very sharp down fall am at a bad point right now doing "re-feeding". I have to focus and eat on purpose. I try to do it while I'm distracted watching tv or doing homework.

I'm trying to stop self sabotaging and in the meantime taking all the rage, or anxiety, or unworthiness or other feelings I have and putting them somewhere else, like on paper... on through art. That used to work really well...

Your T knows about your ED I assume? (If you are in T)

Cat ^_^

Thanks scars09 and catalyst for responding. My T knows about my ED and I contacted my nutritionist to get back on track. I was hospitalized 18 mo ago for very low weight and had to go through re-feeding also. Since then I have gained weight and had stop restricting, but recent painful emotional work w/T triggered my ED to rare its Ugly Head! and I don't feel in control of not restricting and wanting to lose weight. I guess for me it's a way of controlling something when the intense emotional pain seems out of control at the moment. I never liked the weight I had gained over the past 18 mo. and experimented being at different weights and have come to the conclusion that I don't like any fat on me and want to get this weight off; others think I'm crazy for wanting to lose weight, to them I'm thin, but all I can see is the fat that needs to come off. It's nice to know that I'm not alone.

DW