If I could get up the courage to tell my T that I had searched for a Facebook page for him in the first place, I would tell him, because I'd think that's what I would want in his position. I am super protective of my T (way more protective than he actually is of himself). Part of that is me needing to back off and let him do his job of taking care of himself, but it never hurts to just notify someone of something you think they would want to know.

I would tell her just what you told us.

FB is notorious for privacy issues, and I might not want my clients to have access to my private FB page. Maybe. I don't post anything there that is particularly private. I don't think it's wrong for you to state that you were looking for her professional page, especially if she blogs.

I'm in the process of building my page, doing marketing, and social networking is a huge part of it. If you were my client, I would want you to be an active participant either with my professional web page, professional FB page, or word of mouth. If someone stumbled upon my private FB page and that was not my intention, I would be a little irritated (again) with Facebook... But NOT you, not at all! And, if you accidentally caught a glimpse of the pic I took of the aspen groves last fall, oh well.

Having said that, I communicated with my T sometimes via FB messaging. It sounds strange, but we were fine with it. He posted, (status posts) but not often, and it was generally landscape photos, or a concert he was at, or a picture of his cats. Nothing earth-shattering. I'm getting to that point as well- I don't post anything that I wouldn't want posted on the news, anyway.

In my opinion, most professionals, especially therapists, are not going to be posting rants or other obnoxious things on FB anyway, and this should also be taken into consideration.

So yes it were me, I wouldn't mind, I would probably appreciate knowing. Damn FB- it's supposed to SERVE us, and in order to do that, sadly, we can't be complacent.

My intellectual self says I should let her know as i am positive she is not aware her posts are now public. I am sure she knows I have googled her and frankly I think she googled me as she once mentioned something that I had not told her but was on my FB page. But I also know she is very particular about boundaries and won't friend me even on Linked In. I have been seeing her now for almost a year and this is the first time I have seen any of her posts available to the public. I often have her FB page pop up when I log onto FB as a suggested friend so I have seen when she changes her profile picture but that is all. Now, I have access to several videos she posted including a video of her giving a tour of her backyard. Also, I pretty much know everything she did this past weekend from a night out drinking with her friends, the location and date of her fall wedding, at least 20 or so of her friends (who commented on her posts) and some of her posts are a little surprising given how kind she usually is (they are a bit snarky, if not downright mean). I am uncomfortable knowing some of this information but I also can't seem to help myself wanting to keep this window open as long as I can. If I tell her, she is surely going to adjust her privacy settings. She rarely gives me any personal information about herself so this is like a treasure trove of information for me. I am really torn at what to do. Oy.

Hi.
My T has some of his fb open and does not bother if anyone looks at it, I thinks she would know herself how the settings are, If I were you , just don't say anything, let her decide how her fb is ..

Well, I chickened out about telling her that a) I had been reviewing her FB and b) that she has her wall posts visible to the public. We did, however, talk about boundaries and what I could and could not know about her and why. I totally get why its better that I not know about her "real" life but it still hurts to know that I can't ever be a part of her life in any way other than as her patient.

I think most people wouldn't say anything, but would feel uncomfortable on some level about it or struggle massively before they could tell. Sort of a "her loss"/"she should know better so it's not my problem" thing. This is why I don't look my Ts up. Thankfully they disclose a lot in session as it is. I'm sorry you couldn't work up the courage to tell her and I'm sorry you are so torn. I hope she'll realize her settings and adjust them according to her comfort - maybe she's okay with having it open (I doubt it, but you never know!). If the uncomfortable feelings start invading your therapy, or the trust with your T, etc then you may have to come clean about how you've found out some info if you can't talk about it in an ambiguous manner. In the end you need to do what is best for you - I know it would be super hard (and hopefully you aren't offended by this) but you do also have the option not to look if it is upsetting you and impeding on your therapy. I know that would take some crazy willpower but it's an option, too! You'll do what you need to, if anything, when you're ready. ((Hoosier)) Thanks for the update, I was wondering how it was going to go! It does hurt to know we can't be part of their regular lives.

Catalyst, thanks for your comments and support. You are right that I have the choice not to look but it definitely is going to take some crazy a$$ willpower. It makes me feel guilty to look but I also get some satisfaction from seeing what she's doing. She jokes around a lot which is a side I don't get to see of her much because we tend to be more serious in session. But she told me it needs to be that way because that is what is best for me which is important since no one has ever respected boundaries for me before. I know I have improved leaps and bounds working with her so I know in my heart she's right. I just am not ready to let go of the window to her world right now. Sigh.

So I have been trying not to peek at my T on FB but not very successfully. Yesterday, she posted her engagement photos which are beautiful but also shows her being very vulnerable with her boyfriend. I am completely obsessed (at least that's how it feels) in learning more about her life and what she's doing, with whom, and when. I have never been so curious about anyone in my life. I know its bad for my continued therapy, yet I continue to engage in the bad behavior. Oy, story of my life.