That does sound disconcerting! Does it feel like therapy? It sounds more like the interactions you might have with a friend--albeit a friend who is sworn to confidentiality.

It also doesn't match with the training I've had on Gestalt therapy, although admittedly I have only had brief introductions as a student and not specialized training of any kind.

I do believe that it is not necessary to share every painful detail, and can actually be counterproductive to do so. But some discussion of patterns and connecting the dots is needed for integration and growth (in my opinion/belief system.) Is there some of that?

(((BROKEN)))

It sounds kind of interesting. It's exactly what I think I need in a therapist but I might have the same reaction you do. For instance, I was interviewing a therapist last week and told him how difficult it was for me to think that my therapist's wife had died and that I had to hold all that on and couldn't tell him I was sorry, he responded, "If my died, not only would you know it but I would probably cry with you because that's the way we heal."

It's exactly the kind of relationship that I think I want from my current T but then I kind of thought, oh, I don't know if I would be comfortable with that. I "get" it and I like it but I just don't know.

Sometimes I think it goes back to the accessible/inaccessible thing. I want what I can't have and think that what I can have isn't what I need or want. Does that make sense? It's probably a lot more complicated than that. For example, my current T, the one I'm leaving, has an air of confidence that is very attractive.

My T is Gestalt trained... but... I carefully avoiding researching it, because I would be afraid of over-thinking everything, so I don't have much background theory (no kidding, I still read 5-7 books about it... errrr)

From what I understood, there are 2 big types of Gestalt therapy, one following more the guy, Fritz Perls and the other one following more his wife Laura, focusing more on the therapeutic relationship... from what I understood.

Mmmm, I don't know what more I can say: we do a lot of empty chairs exercises, it's quite fun, and is quite interesting in becoming aware of how I relate to... people, myself, feelings.
My T always says she does not believe in "transference" per se, because it is an actual relationship, with actual feelings, which is happening in the "here and now", and that's how we try to broach it, even if of course, through it, is also relates to my other relationships, past, etc.

And yes, she is okay with not revealing painful stuff, and focusing on how it feels to not reveal it. Which I find sooo frustrating: it would be so much easier to not have the choice, I would feel less guilty for mentioning the painful stuff!

Anyway, I hope it works out for you. And I find my T great, for me, it works well, because I tend to always get lost in thinking, theorizing about the past... and joyfully ignore the feelings, so I find this therapy quite useful, even if I am sure that my T does not use everything, as I am veeeery shy and have trouble with all the acting parts^^

I'm not sure it matters what type of T they are - the fit just has to feel ok for YOU. If you need something that this T isn't offering, it's ok to look for something that fits your needs better. (I need to take this advice!!!)

sb

Thanks, all. I think it is okay- what I think I should disclose to him is weighing on me pretty heavily. I am very disconnected from my body, and being a Gestaltist, he is always mentioning thinking about how I feel in my body, mentioning my physical reactions- so the idea of him looking at me is disconcerting. But, maybe that`s what I really need?

Hey,

Depending on where you want to go from that, it can be a very useful tool: I am very disconnected from my body, and sooo self-conscious, so any exercise involving feeling anything in my body is either feeling 'blank' or excruciatingly shameful... But my T goes in VERY small steps, because I told her some of my fear and she could guess it from my reactions, so... it is really interesting because it gives me a chance to explore that (the "oh, I am actually not a pure mind") without becoming too much for me to handle. But only you can judge how much is too much for you and whether the therapy is helpful with that or not.