Athenacus,
I mean this as gently as possible (and my input, which could be wrong or misapplied is based on my own behavior for a long time), but by trying to run into your therapist instead of calling, you're trying to get what you need without having to risk hearing a no if you ask for it. I think the healthier thing for you do, and a really good experience to have, would be to call and her and express your need for contact. I know that can be terrifying. But when she responds, and it sounds like she will, you will have the wonderful experience of expressing a need and having a caring other respond to meet that need. If you just "run into" her you'll have that small voice at the back of your mind whispering "well what was she going to do once she ran into me, run screaming?" Call.

AG

Athenacus,

I think I remember your story about going to the bar your T said she frequented and finding here there. I think AG said it right above that seeking T in person is sort of like wanting to connect - just like a phone call would be. I get super anxious about phoning people (if I have to order take-out if they don't have online ordering I can't call them) - most especially my Ts. I can see how your T disclosing this stuff does feel like a friendship. Do you hug in session at all? Just curious because you said when you met up with her you received a hug maybe that is what you're looking for if you don't get that touch in session? I dunno!

If I knew where my T was going and when... no, I wouldn't go. My T discloses a lot too sometimes where she will be at what time - not often, but she did last week. I felt bad but she was talking about a place near my house (and by near, I mean literally 1/4th of a mile away and I go there all the time) and how she'd heard great things about it [my OTHER T has ALSO gone to this place]. And (I'm such a bitch) but I said... 'well, let me know when you plan on going so I won't be there'. She gave me a funny look - I think my T probably sees a lot of her people in public - she often recommends the same places she's been (she's even referred me to a Dr of hers). I think a lot of it is I'm terrified of seeing T1 outside of session - I saw her once and nearly died of pure terror (she didn't see me). Anyway, yea I think it is blurring boundaries and it could be interpreted by your T as stalking or intrusive behavior but who knows, definitely something good to bring up with her!

Also... call call call if you have to the more you do it... the less scary it becomes in time.

Thanks Cat and AG!
I called about an hour ago instead of running into her. I haven't heard back yet. I'm scared to talk to her over the phone for some weird reason. I do that with some phone calls.
It used to be way worse. I used to not call to get pizza delivered without a little script-like note to myself, so I wouldn't make a mistake. yikes. I'm proud of myself for getting much better at it! I don't need a script any more.

I did run into my T at a bar one time. It was kind of one of those I'm having a miserable night and I need to talk to other people because I don't feel like going home yet. I prayed that she would show up that night and she did. It turned out she was having a horrible evening too.
I didn't know for sure she would be there, but it was so close to my house and even closer to her house that I went on a hunch that she would be there at some point.

Oh...nope, we don't touch in session. When I first met her I believe she touched either my shoulder or put a bit of her finger on my knee to bring me back to our conversation. I think I went into my look away/fear/freeze mode, so that's why she was trying to get my attention. After that T only hugged me completely outside of session once and a shoulder hug at a community event.

Thanks you guys!

6 hours and no response from T. ugh.

At least I talked to my best friend. She finally got back to me. whew!

I haven't really had any phone contact with T in the two years that I've seen her, so I should be able to wait two weeks to see her again. I can do this!

Does she usually answer her phone on Sunday? I know I have one T who would one T who definitely does not (strict phone boundaries).

If I call my strict T between Friday evening and Sunday night she will always get back to me on Monday morning (even though I see her early Monday morning). Maybe your T will do that too?

still no phone call-She doesn't work Monday mornings and there were no restrictions on her cell phone that I recall. When she first gave me her number she just said call if I need her. I didn't use that number for a long time. I resisted every time I had an urge. Then she said that she really didn't see me that often, so I could call her for homework help, if I needed it. I never called for that either. One time I did call and gave her good news on a Saturday night and she left me a voice mail back that same evening. One session I specifically asked her her boundaries on the homework help phone call. She let me know that she would help me out with a problem, but that was it. She was rather firm about it and it kind of scared me.
Her demeanor was not at all like when she said I could call.
Oh well...I don't expect her to call back.
Feeling disappointed, but at this point I might say things that I'd regret because I'm in a tired and grumpy mood right now, so it's better that she doesn't call.

she called-she called!

and left a voicemail-haven't checked it though-my sister is using my phone for internet right now-oh pooh! I need to get back to T. I have a feeling she thinks I was in a very bad place yesterday. I'm pretty sure I sounded really down. I'm a bit better today.

Um...her tone of voice matched mine in the voice mail, so kind of low. Hmmm...it kind of sounded like she had time to talk before her last appointment for the evening. I'm guessing here, but I think she meant I could call her at the office. She sounded firm, but not mean-business-like-not warm.

I'll just wait to see her in a couple of weeks, I think.

My T never picks up so I always leave a message. I used to text her, sometimes only texting hi, and she would text me back hello. But T had already said she did not want me to text conversations anymore, because she can't read my emotions and see where I am at, ( we had already had a misunderstanding via text) plus she mentioned boundaries, as in I am crossing them. I actually would text her thoughts I couldn't tell her in person, because I was to ashamed. I was angry she will not text me back hello and I spoke with her about my anger. I feel better about the no text rule now. I hate the anxiety of waiting for a T to call back or text back. I am glad I don't go through that anymore.