Anyone divorced and had to move in with their parents?
If so, how do you do it? How are you able to maintain being an independent adult and still play by someone elses' rules due to living under their roof?
Just wondering...
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I can only relate to the divorced part... Finalized in October.
I recommend throwing a divorce party
I recommend throwing a divorce party
I was divorced in February.
Did you throw a divorce party? What was that like? Where did you throw your party? Who did you invite?
My creative part of my brain isn't working right now, so I can't even fathom throwing a party.
Inviting many friends over to my parents' house doesn't sound like much fun. I'm not allowed to go out to bars or I could get kicked out of the house.
I am going to go out to lunch with a friend soon, so that will be nice.
Did you throw a divorce party? What was that like? Where did you throw your party? Who did you invite?
My creative part of my brain isn't working right now, so I can't even fathom throwing a party.
Inviting many friends over to my parents' house doesn't sound like much fun. I'm not allowed to go out to bars or I could get kicked out of the house.
I am going to go out to lunch with a friend soon, so that will be nice.
I did throw a divorce party.... It was a good time, I invited my friends and those who were there for me throughout the process. To me, the finalizing of the divorce was a weight being lifted off, and I wanted to celebrate it.
I think this is different for everyone, perhaps your divorce circumstances were different from mine and are not ones that you feel warrant celebration. - This is equally good/valid.
What I found important was to recognize in some way, that it was over. It aided in the closure of that chapter, and the start of a new chapter.
As for your parents... I think it's important to establish your 'adult' relationship with your parents. Would it be out of line to ask how old you are?
I think this is different for everyone, perhaps your divorce circumstances were different from mine and are not ones that you feel warrant celebration. - This is equally good/valid.
What I found important was to recognize in some way, that it was over. It aided in the closure of that chapter, and the start of a new chapter.
As for your parents... I think it's important to establish your 'adult' relationship with your parents. Would it be out of line to ask how old you are?
37
We go between an "adult relationship" and a "kid-like relationship" here, which is probably part of the problem.
In my divorce the final date wasn't really a closure date. I guess it was in a way. I felt a sense of freedom and I was flying high for a couple of weeks after that. Then, my ex didn't obey any of the court rules and I didn't receive child support nor my settlement money. My attorney and his were dragging their feet and sucking me for more money. It took 3 months to get the c/s worked out and back pay. It took a total of 9 months to get the settlement money (retirement accounts) to me. I was dealing with all of this, my kids, my parents, work, school and all other little life stuff.
Since I have kids with my ex I have to deal with him on an almost weekly basis. He is abusive (verbally and emotionally). He enjoys harassing me any chance he gets. He sends me nasty e-mails and voice mails every few days. It's getting to the point where I'm probably going to have to call the authorities. ugh.
We go between an "adult relationship" and a "kid-like relationship" here, which is probably part of the problem.
In my divorce the final date wasn't really a closure date. I guess it was in a way. I felt a sense of freedom and I was flying high for a couple of weeks after that. Then, my ex didn't obey any of the court rules and I didn't receive child support nor my settlement money. My attorney and his were dragging their feet and sucking me for more money. It took 3 months to get the c/s worked out and back pay. It took a total of 9 months to get the settlement money (retirement accounts) to me. I was dealing with all of this, my kids, my parents, work, school and all other little life stuff.
Since I have kids with my ex I have to deal with him on an almost weekly basis. He is abusive (verbally and emotionally). He enjoys harassing me any chance he gets. He sends me nasty e-mails and voice mails every few days. It's getting to the point where I'm probably going to have to call the authorities. ugh.
Hey there,
I'm 30, and went through a similar process, though without children involved. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through, but can assure you - It does get better.
I went through a period of time where my Ex-H would show up in the middle of the night pounding on doors, in tears or any other type of measure he could fathom to instill guilt, and ruin my new relationship. It was horrendous, and I seriously considered a restraining order.
My experience couldn't possibly compare to yours, as I was able to escape my marriage without all the hoopla of lawyers and court ordered agreements...
One of the things I joke about is that 'I got the truck, and my ex got all our friends'. And this was essentially true... So it was important to me to have a gathering to celebrate those who were still a part of my life. We had a bbq, watched a playoff game, played some games, and just... enjoyed each other's company. I had too much to drink and made an ass of myself...but that was par for the emotional course I was on at the time.
I think, for me, it was a matter of taking back ownership of the situation, by celebrating the end of my marriage, I was taking ownership of the next stage of my life, and committing to myself that it WAS going to get better. So far..it has.
As to part with your parents. If I were in that situation and had the 'kid' relationship coming out... I would sit down with them and have a discussion... and if it were me, I'd probably need to write out what I wanted to accomplish in that discussion before it happened.
I'm 30, and went through a similar process, though without children involved. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through, but can assure you - It does get better.
I went through a period of time where my Ex-H would show up in the middle of the night pounding on doors, in tears or any other type of measure he could fathom to instill guilt, and ruin my new relationship. It was horrendous, and I seriously considered a restraining order.
My experience couldn't possibly compare to yours, as I was able to escape my marriage without all the hoopla of lawyers and court ordered agreements...
One of the things I joke about is that 'I got the truck, and my ex got all our friends'. And this was essentially true... So it was important to me to have a gathering to celebrate those who were still a part of my life. We had a bbq, watched a playoff game, played some games, and just... enjoyed each other's company. I had too much to drink and made an ass of myself...but that was par for the emotional course I was on at the time.
I think, for me, it was a matter of taking back ownership of the situation, by celebrating the end of my marriage, I was taking ownership of the next stage of my life, and committing to myself that it WAS going to get better. So far..it has.
As to part with your parents. If I were in that situation and had the 'kid' relationship coming out... I would sit down with them and have a discussion... and if it were me, I'd probably need to write out what I wanted to accomplish in that discussion before it happened.