interesting, mine have denied almost (98%) everything, i wrote them a 7 page letter in september, from the adult self, outlining everything i recall and the 'den't in my forehead i now have, my need for therapy, my need for total space, no contact, and time. mom says it is my 'menapause' and fancies herself that my husband is somehow her friend, and that 'jill is just a bit 'koo koo' right now, hee hee!!'

narcissistic mom is in complete denial, won't 'mind' about the space and no contact, never has acknowledged any truth, but one where she built excuses to justify it.....about her working in the afternoons and not being there, we didn't need the money, she just 'had' to escape us, she said that she now realizes that was wrong, but that is the ONLY thing she has acknowledged...and i said, that MANY working parents are great parents, THAT WORKING was not the problem, it was what she did outside of that time that did the damage, that was just ONE drop of the chinese water torture of my life then.

anyway, my husband has to periodically put his foot down with them about her contacting me, and did yesterday and really got FIRM with them, that i am TRYING to stay out of the hospital, TRYING to raise two kids and keep it normal around here, have lost 20 pounds in the process and to STOP...she kept naming 'good things' she has done for me but they were all as an ADULT, nothing childhood. and really, even then, they weren't GOOD...letting me drop out of college at one point, rather than encouraging me to gut it out and that i COULD handle it, and let me move back into the nest. i know, then, i was still a five year old subconciously realizing she never grew up and needed hugged and a mommy, but by then it was too late, i did move back home looking for the love i never got, but i never got it. the child in me was just hungry for what she never got. she SHOULD have encouraged me to FLY! that she believed in me!! but then, she never encouraged me to do anything, never believed in me (i now realize we were extensions of her own self that she never believed in, and therefore had no love or confidence in us, either). then my husband mentioned my dad slapping me in the face at about 8, she WAILED OFF that he would NEVER do that and hung up.

minutes later my dad emailed my husband (what a wimp, can't even call on the phone) and says he did slap me that day in the car driving home from the beach (same scene) but it was on the leg. ASSHOLE!! i recall my fat lip and thinking in my upside down kind of way, that the fact that i could tell he felt bad about it was SOME kind of validation that he loved me. i was almost proud of it.

i do feel a little victory, despite the lip versus leg aspect, that at least he acknowledged some truth.

what are y'all's experiences with parent's acknowledgement of abuse?? what is your CURRENT relationship with your abuser??

does GOD really want reconciliation??

i struggle here, so much, and with letting my kids have contact with grandparents. i don't stand in the way, they live out of town, but i don't facilitate. did at Easter, they came up for lunch, and i spiralled down for a month or more afterwards. they aren't abusive to them. just me and my sister. belittling in sarcastic ways about me in front of my kids. all 'in jest'. they ARE emotionally ignorant.