Jessie:

You are NOT the sum total of your supposed diagnoses/disorders...you are, in my mind, an incredibly unique individual who has experienced some life struggles....I detest labels...they are so degrading and humiliating.....I am sorry to hear that there are therapists out there who have refused to treat you....my heart goes out to you!! glad that you have found this site and that it has been helpful!!

Thank you Sarah!

Hi, Jessie, welcome to the forum. In my opinion, diagnoses suck because they make you feel like youa re"sick" instead of hurting. I am so srry to hear that T's wouldn't treat you because of BPD...that being siad, the ones who judge based on dx probably don't have much to offer anyway...I hope you will find a T who understands that you are not the sum total of you dx.

Welcome!

BB

You are correct. I have learned more these last few days about this disorder than I have in the past 2 years. While I agree I have these problems, I do not agree I can't be helped. If I can live all this time not knowing what the problem was, surely I can at least fight the dragon I see. Wanting help to understand this disorder is why I ended here. Just understanding the way the brain reacts to things has helped in ways I can't even explain.

Thank you Dragonfly! I don't label people. I keep an open mind until I get to know them. I think that is why the whole label thing bothers me so much. On my Psych Eval. they didn't even get some of the personal info right. But that being said, it did give me something to look for. Knowledge is power and it certainly answered some questions about my behavior. I am more aware of things now which help me with self-talk. I have had to get in touch with some hurtful stuff and emotions I didn't want to deal with. I am finding the more I deal tho the better I feel about things. It is a slow process, but it is a process that is working for me.

I don't know yet how to get to the top! But that is ok. I am still here!

jessie, i have a mouthful as well, all i can tell you is, the ones that won't treat you, can't help you. search psychology today's referral site for a good start of people that work with this dx. it is SO important to have someone who can help you here. don't take it personally, either. have been through three t's that couldn't address my needs, and now, i am finally learning to be upfront (not that i really knew until now what i might have) with your POSSIBLE dx, and make sure they are equipped. it is tough to change midstream, or, as i did, get booted out when my stuff was over the head of my t's abilities.

good luck! jill

Thank you Jill. I have had such a melt down. I am jobless and no money even for meds and a therapist if I could find one. I have moved in with my daughter. I can no longer face anything and am at the point where it isn't even worth trying to get better. I know I may feell different but I am just really tired of the struggle for some sort of normal existance. I know I sound depressing and I am sorry.

jessie

Hello and welcome. I'm sorry things feel so tough for you now. Dragonfly is right, post a thread on the top boards - one of the main subject sites and there will be a lot of people who will offer their support, because it sounds like you could do wilth a bit of that. I've only just noticed your post down there - sorry.

Take care,

starfish

Thank you all for your support. I still have not figured out how to post in the proper place. ultaviolet;I agree with YOUR diagnosis. I found an interesting website called INTERNET OF THE MIND. If you are anything like me and have to understand how your brain works, this is a good one.I realize there is no way I can go in thereapy and have to relive the aggravation of childhood. Yes it was bad, yes it hurt, but I do not wish to go that route.I am guessing my parents did the best they could and no it was not what worked for me.

I wish it could have been better, but it wasn't. I understand how it affected me. I also understand it is within my power to change it. But when you get into therapy the labels seem to help the therapist more than the patient. And if you even tell the therapist how you want to go about it, they look at you like you just stepped on their face. I am rambling.

ok. Am I there yet?