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4 replies

At ease during T sessions?

jendarkjendarkMember
I cannot recall the exact context of this, but my T said something in line of ‘you can be / are at ease here’. I must have given her a strange look because immediately she asked what I was thinking.

I told her that I am not feeling at ease in her office and that I don’t think that I ever really will be. T seemed actually surprised hearing that and T being a T, of course she questioned me why I feel that way.

Some background: I am seeing T to work on childhood trauma. There are so many things that I have never been able to talk about and that make me feel completely petrified and overwhelmed. We have not even remotely touched the surface of what has happened and the work is extremely painful and scary, to say the least. It feels like being with her we (re-)visit hell, even if we mainly stay in the present by working on the current aftermath of the trauma for now.

Though I truly love my T, see how she cares, listens and understands and feeling rather safe (as much as that is possible for me being in a room with another person and a closed door and no windows), I just cannot imagine that I can feel at ease at some point. I am attached to her, feel lost when sessions are cancelled and I need to wait an additional week to see her but still, I don’t think I feel at ease.

What about you? Do you feel at ease during your sessions? If so, how long did it take to get there?
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heldincompassionheldincompassionMember
I wouldn't say I feel completely at ease in my T sessions either. Since part of her job is to challenge me at times and push me when I need it, and since the whole business of deconstructing and reconstructing a self (which is what I feel like we're doing) is often by turns threatening, stressful, or painful-- nah, at ease is not quite the term I would pick for therapy, lol!

I do feel comfortable with my T in the sense that I have a lot of trust, and I feel safe to be myself. That has grown over time but I felt fairly comfortable with her in that sense almost from the beginning. I feel like we clicked well and she inspires confidence, in me anyway.

But-- the feeling of being completely at ease like when you are hanging out with a best friend, eating chocolate ice cream and watching movies-- that is a different kind of feeling altogether and not something I've ever felt or expect to feel in therapy.

Good question, btw. Will be interested in reading how others respond.
starlightstarlightMember
Hi,
Good question.
I wait impationtly all week for my T appointment, feel excited the day before and then when I get to the waiting room my stomach starts doing somersaults!

I look forward to going and I feel very safe with my T. When we just chat casually I feel at ease, but then as soon as we start to go a little deeper into anything regarding my feelings I get anxious or clam up.

But it is usually those sessions where I have felt uncomfortable and emotional which have seemed most helpful when I think back later.

I think therapy is about pushing yourself and exploring things that are causing problems in your life. This is bound be difficult even with a T you trust and feel safe with. Therapy is definatly not a relaxing experience!

Starlight Smiler
nigeldanielnigeldanielMember
Well my two pennys worth would be its not possable to feel 100% at ease with an T in any session. The best I can manage is when I can tell a funny story about something that happaned to me and we well both laugh about it for a minute. Thats about as relaxed and ease as it well come for me. Most off the time it involves stopping and going stopping and going as one tries to say something inportant and nervousness and unease well be part off this. I think nearly every T is very well aware off this.
snsnMember
I'm comfortable with T, but not with some of or topics, so for me it just depends on what we're discussing. I'm more comfortable discussing things where I don't fear judgement. As compassionate as he normally is, I once started telling him the story I just posted in Intimate issues, and I immediately felt judged by something he said. I'm sure he didn't mean it as it came out, but I think he let his T-persona down for a minute and I wish he hadn't.

So in general, it depends on the session, but I'm usually at ease with HIM more so than with my issues!
(this was NOT the case when I had acute ET for him though, hehe!)

Great question! Smiler

Starry

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