I think I do attach to objects, but not in that way. I have several toys from my childhood and I don't feel soothed by them or lime their loss would be devestating, regardless of their meaningfulness to me, because of who gave them to me or how long I've had them. Mostly, I just pass them on to Boo as appropriate.

I do, however, tend to anthropomorphize inanimate objects (mostly stuffed animals) and animals, insects, in a very childlike way...I think it comes from my CPs. An example...when Boo lost her favorite stuffed cat for a long while, it was upsetting to me, not only because Boo was upset by it, but because I had intrusive thoughts about the stuffed animal's feelings. When she talked about just replacing it with a new one that looked the same, inside, there was this desperate sort of reaction that it wouldn't be the same kitty, with all the experiences of the first one. I knew this was irrational, but it kept coming up until months later, when we found it. When she was upset, and expressed her kitty being sad and scared away from her, it did help that I was able to kind of "go there" and talk to her about it from a relating, but more positive, point of view...like someone else had found her and adopted her. If it had not been so much a beloved toy for her, it probably wouldn't have been as bad. I feel pathetic admitting this.

I do this with animals or bugs too. If I find out an animal is killed, it's very upsetting to me. I'm imagining their fear while it happened. Or if I have to kill ants that have gotten into my house, I feel like I'm committing ant genocide, and worry about their families missing them. Stuff like that.

I don't just do that, but I also overestimate other people's attachment to objects. When Boo's favorite ball rolled on the heater and deflated during her nap at 18-months-old, I actually cried worrying about how it would upset her. She didn't even notice it was gone...

For all this, you would think I have excessive attachments to objects, but they are actually not very strong. I think there is an internal narrative that attachment just isn't "for" me, like I don't have a right to it, and I am pretty svoidsnt of it in all forms thst involve dependence and comfort from someone or something else. It has made letting CPs get so close to and attached with T quite terrifying, because it feels like breaking rules about who we are and what we are supposed to (of not supposed to) have. But, I keep pushing forward. I think the only thing I've been attached to that someone important like that has given me is probably their words, like letters from my English teacher/mentor in high school, which I used to reread at the time for comfort. I also have a few notes from T, though they don't say much. I keep them none-the-less. If he wrote me something longer, I would probably be able to draw comfort from rereading his words to me...

Sorry, that was long, weird, and maybe not at all what you meant... :/

I am attached to objects T gives me and they do give me comfort. I have a stuffed animal at Ts office for 3 years now that I know I will treasure when I'm done and it helps me in session also.

From childhood I have some figurines from my Grandma and some things like letters from my Great Grandpa. They make me happy and I'd not know what to do of something happened to them.

I do and don't get attached to stuff. I had stuff taken or destroyed and sometimes I can't figure out how I feel. I get attached to routines much more so there are some things I do that are childhood things. People have those with traditions and stuff, too.

Hi Draggers,

I have a few things from my childhood - mainly books. I cherish them as really precious and would never throw them away. when I look at them I have so many memories of reading and escaping into the world of that book - I find I know great long passages by heart. I haven't much else - photos and some film, but not a lot.

T has given me a few things over the years and they too are special. I think in general my most special things are mostly so because of the people who gave them and/or the meaning behind them

Love fishy

I don't have many childhood objects, but I do have a tiny stuffed black cat (JiJi from the anime KiKi's Delivery Service) that I bought as an exchange student in Japan 10 years ago. I'm very attached to this cat, to the point where I've had fights over it with my 4-year-old. I've taken it to hold during session several times when I've felt especially vulnerable or have been working through really hard stuff. I have two theories about why I'm so attached to it:

1) My time in Japan was one of the best experiences of my life, and...

2) It represents one of the few things I ever REALLY wanted for myself and didn't feel bad about purchasing afterward.

I don't know how I'd react if anything happened to her.

Draggers - the ability to go outside and sit in my favorite spot in a huge preserve... By the water on a rock and being able to smell, hear, see the trees and dirt and creepy crawlers saved my life growing up. I had an apple tree in the yard I loved... And my best friends and I would play under evergreens (to make forts or hiding places) and every year would play in the poplar leaves... I'm definitely attached to plants. I even have an odd relationship with a plant at my Ts house that the past three years in bloom season I remind her to look at. Last session she showed me a picture of it. SO - to me you make sense

I have been thinking about this topic since it was first posted.

I'm not sure I necessarily feel attached to objects. Rather, it is the meaning or memory attached to the object. Since I've been going through the things in my mother's house, I've been "considering" a lot of objects. There are things my mom kept, because they had meaning to her - a Rainbow Girl badge, her father's wallet - and lots, lots more. I struggle, because the item has no personal meaning to me, yet I know that it did for my mother. To dispose of these things feels almost disrespectful, but do I keep them? I can't without being overrun with stuff.

Then I find the things my mom saved that were about me - little girl dresses, a lock of hair from my first haircut, grade-school artwork. Although I haven't had these things in my possession (and gotten attached to them), they are meaningful to me because they are evidence that I did exist. I was a little girl. I was real.

I suppose, then, it's no surprise that what I feel most attached to is not really an object, but a representation - photographs. I have always had access to lots of pictures of me and my family - particularly as kids. I still look and find things I hadn't seen before. They are both reminders of and clues about Little Me.

I think I could write a lot more on this topic. Thoughts are still gurgling.

-RT