Skip to main content

The PsychCafe
Share, connect, and learn.
4 replies

Back to black

elsewhererevisitedelsewhererevisitedMember
Although I LOVED our experiment from yesterday, todat has been a very bad bad day.
I heard (thru the grapevine) that my T's pregnance has reached the 30th week, so she's heading towards a safe outcome. I am really happy for her (please believe me). But the news also brings out my anger. Like 'she's safe now, so now I can get mad'.
I feel so utterly left alone.
It's like I was having open heart surgery (to me attachment therapy really feels like that) and the surgeon left the theatre in the midst of the procedure because of health reasons. And no one steps in. It's up to me to find a way, another professional, anyone to help me close this wound. Like the patient in theatre trying to reach the emergency button: hello, I'm still here!
I've emailed, I've phoned, I've tried to explain to my P that I'm not coping.
But I feel it should have been the other way around: they should have reached out to me (she works in a big healthcare centre), they should have checked on me to see if I was managing.
Now I'm so angry I feel like acting out, in the form of not contacting them anymore, not showing up at my appointment with P on Tuesday, not picking up my phone... Just to get a reaction out of them. Which probably won't happen anyway.
Sorry, I don't want to hand out such a downer after yesterdays effort, but I'm afraid the anger is starting to take over.
My T (and previous T's many many years ago) always wondered where my anger was. Well, it's here. And I'm not coping.
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

rachel 2rachel 2Member
((elsewhere)) A T's pregnancy can be so overwhelming!! My last session with my T before her maternity leave was last week, and I'm having a hard time with it as well. My main worry is that she'll decide she wants to be a stay at home mom and not come back. I talked with her about it and I felt a little better after she reassured me she was coming back, but not much.

You're right for being angry about the fact that no one reached out to you from where she works. Their job is to make sure of their clients' wellbeing, after all. That would make me mad too.
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
Elsewhere you are being very courageous and very kind and understanding about your T's absence. I would not be so understanding. Of course, you want her and baby to be well but it is very difficult to have your attachment figure suddenly "disappear" on you. And then to have no one in her group check on you is doubly hurtful.

That aside, I think they are bordering on being unethical in their handling of her suddenly being unable to see clients. They have a responsibility to see to it that her clients are taken care of and to check in on them. I would call the Center and demand to have someone assigned to me until T is back. Even if you don't get into anything deep as you have with your own T, you can use the time to process what her disappearance has meant to you, how it feels and also to just get you through the day to day challenge of living.

I would have a few choice words to tell T once she is back. I think it was irresponsible of her and the Center to not follow up on clients. I understand her situation was dangerous for the baby but she could have made one phone call to her supervisor to be sure her patients were taken care of.

I am so sorry you are left with no support. I would have a very difficult time getting through one month, nevermind until January. I would at least need interim therapy. I hope you can find some help.

TN
elsewhererevisitedelsewhererevisitedMember
Thank you both! It gave me the courage to send my P my posting (didn't even translate into dutch for him, somehow it was easier to communicate in a foreign language). And I did go this afternoon.
It was honest. He understands a little better now. He didn't apologize (but he's the sort of man that would rather die...), but said he could understand my anger and felt somewhat lost for words. And he made a special point of telling me he really did care, even though he never mentioned it.
He organised a sort of interim for me (not a therapist, maybe it's called an caseworker in English)? To try and help me thru this and out of this black depression. And if I don'nt hit it off with this woman, she will go out of her way to find me another.
I felt heard and seen.
First by you, and now my him.

I also mentioned that on this forum there were people telling me I had done well keeping it (more or less) together in the first place and that no one else had told me that. He blushed and said I had done more than well...
Last edited by elsewhererevisited

Add Reply

Post

Membership Required

We're sorry. You must be signed in to continue. Sign In or Register
×
Are you sure you want to remove from your Block List?
×
Loading...
×
When you block a person, they can no longer invite you to a private message or post to your profile wall. Replies and comments they make will be collapsed/hidden by default. Finally, you'll never receive email notifications about content they create or likes they designate for your content.
Note: if you proceed, you will no longer be following .
×
Advanced Search
Advanced Search
Link copied to your clipboard.
×

Access to this requires a premium membership.

Be a Patron Member

Get psychotherapy help to make your therapy easier and better.



Yes, I've learned about all the benefits of being a Patron Member (Click here if you missed seeing them: Community Psychotherapy Help

Yes, I understand that...

1. I can do a 7 day free trial and my credit card will not be charged until that period is up.

2. I can cancel at any time before then and my card will not be charged.

3. That once my credit card is charged, there is no refund offered.

Have a special coupon?

4. If I'm using a coupon my receipt won't show the discounted amount (It'll show $7.95). However, I understand that it will go through as $2.95 when I am billed after the 7 day trial. (According to the current promotion, this discount applies to the first three months of my membership - and as long as I use the coupon in the checkout.)*

*Please note that after the 3 months, billing will revert to the regular monthly fee.
**The fee posted below is our standard billing fee (ie. using no coupon).

7-Day Free Trial, then $7.95 per Month (plus tax if applicable)
×