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Baffled

T tasMember
I hope everyone is doing well. I have been having a bumpy time and the Therapist contacted me and I spoke briefly with him by phone. He is gently reminding me that if he did not want to work with me he would have kicked me out of therapy when I took the page from his file.

This raises an interesting point. I have wondered why he did not kick me out because I completely crossed a line when I took the paper from the file. (I am in no way bragging about this as I am truly embarrassed by my behavior.) I just don't understand why he would continue to see me knowing I did this.

He is not paid to put up with these kinds of things and I know he could have kicked me out. I guess I don't understand why he didn't. He did say he saw it as another attempt to push him away and get him to tell me to go.

Is there something wrong with him because he did not kick me out? I don't mean this in an attacking way towards him; I just don't know of too many Therapists who would have put up with this.

I am working through some things and realizing he could have given up on me a long time ago.

T.
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skylynxskylynxMember
Tas, I think your therapist is an extraordinary, wonderful, understanding T, and he likes you, too. As you said, he knows you have attachment problems with him and that you sometimes do things to aggravate him, push him away. Also, I think it was quite spunky, which he probably does, too.
Once when I was in the hospital, I stole my file while the nurses station happened to be unattended, and ran into the restroom and locked the door. I "read" the illegible garble until they could find the key. But they didn't kick me out. They know we have problems and realize we will do reactive things on occasion. I just want to say again, that your therapist sounds like a good man, and I hope you will stay by him.
catalystcatalystMember
I think working in mental health you have an expanded definition of suitable behavior. Just like you'd have different sets of expectations for other illness types or ages or groups, etc.

A potty training toddler may still piss all over the bathroom, or paint the room in the morning with a paw full of last night's stool. For most people that's a bit much to think about... For a parent.,, it's just another day. You clean the room and the child and keep going. If he is being ethical and can competently help you and accept and appropriately deal with your whatever actions you have/had/overcome/develop... Then I don't see it as anything pathological that he kept working with you.

I will occasionally share stories I've read here with my T. There are certainly things she wouldn't let fly as a habit but would still attempt to work with the person through.
closeddoorscloseddoorsMember
hey (((TAS))) the fact that he hasn't kicked you out ... sounds to me like not only does he like and care about you, he believes he can help you. his boundaries are and have been difficult for you, but it sounds like you're starting to understand that he really does care and he really does want to help you. the journey you've been describing all along reminds me of a two-year-old or a teenager pushing their boundaries, trying the see how far they can go before being punished. he hasn't punished you yet, and in fact has communicated that he wants to continue working with you. I think that's super lovely!!! anyway, that's the way i see it. from where i sit, it may not be all comfort and roses, but i do believe you're in excellent hands and always have been. Also, i think the fact that you have been coming here and posting whenever you bump into a wall with your T and don't understand something shows a hell of a lot of strength and commitment, though it may not seem like it. I think you're doing a hell of a job, TAS. i really do! Smiler

stay well!
V veryhopefulMember
I was just thinking of you yesterday. Nice to hear from you. He will NOT give up on you and you will not give up either. I've done this dance a lot also. My T could have dumped me a long time ago and goodness knows I've tried to get him to dump me in some very creative and mean ways and dammit, he will not give up on me and we have forged a great alliance...a very rough road, as we all know. It ebbs and flows and we have learned a great deal from each other. You will figure this out together. Don't give up. Work with him. Stay strong. Oh, and yes, therapy is very baffling at times, mostly for us brave souls sitting on the couch.

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