HI BI...

I'm happy for you that you did something new and it gave you such a great feeling. Of course you wanted to share it with your T who is your attachment figure. That is so normal.

It's also very typical of a T to respond the way she did. I know it is hard not to take it as if she does not care. She does but probably feels like it's too much to share just in an email and she was telling you that it would be better to really discuss it when she next sees you in session.

Believe me I have written the same kinds of emails to both of my Ts and the response has been very similar. It would momentarily piss me off but I had to look behind the words and understand that they did not want to get into details via email. It also loses something that way and it's better to do this in person.

Hang in there until your next session and then I can assure you she will be much more vocal about your accomplishment.

BTW, I also think it would be a good idea for you to tell her how her response made you feel. It's worth discussing that as much as your accomplishment. Because it is in the details of the relationship that we learn much about ourselves and it's where a lot of the healing takes place. So tell her how you felt.

TN

I want to tell her that it made me upset that she responded in that way. I mean, what I told her was awesome. SO cool.

BUT, I feel like I know I am expecting too much from her and I'm just never going to get it. I should just give up trying.

We talked about my emails yesterday. I email her a lot because I like the connectedness. She told me to try to draft them and not send them. See, she doesn't even want to hear from me.

I love her. She doesn't love me. I'm feeling sad and low right now. I want so bad for it to be some other way, but it never will be.

Maybe I should just give up even going to therapy. It would be easier than dealing with this pain.

Thanks for the advice TN. ((TN)) <--- I'm sending you a hug because right now I need one.

I had a T recently who was open to my emailing but her responses were very similar. She preferred I process things in my therapy with her. I know its hard not to take it personally, but in a way....I think its good that she wants you to share these things in person with her.

(((((BI))))) sending you hugs right back.

You need to stay in therapy. You have not given it much time at all. You may not get to move in with your T but you will get the therapeutic relationship and a lot of learning about yourself and a lot of healing if handled correctly.

I know how intense the attachment can feel. It's okay to talk about it and if your T is knowledgeable about attachment she won't freak out over it.

Hang in there.

TN

Oh BI - You and I are sailing on the same ship right now. I too have gotten that kind of response from my T. My T is currently is vacation, and we left things on a very harsh note, and it's just crushing me. So I do know, take is easy.
GG