I was just thinking about the progress I've made since I first started working with T, seven or eight months ago now.

I had some significant problems before I started therapy:

-I was so anxious about driving and I guess agrophobic (sp?) that I was hardly leaving my house, at least not alone.

-I was SI-ing a couple times a week, basically after any little argument with my H or my mother, no matter how insignificant.

-I didn't know hardly anyone in the city I was living in, and was not taking any steps to meet people, either.

The strange thing is that aside from these very limiting "quirks" I was fairly functional and cheerful most of the time.

My symptoms have greatly improved now. For example:

-I can comfortably and confidently drive pretty much anywhere I need or want to go in this city. I'm now often out and about running errands, or just doing things for fun.

-SI has dramatically decreased. Sometimes months pass without an incident, and the incidents I do have are very minor.

-I've been much more pro-active socially. I started talking more to my neighbors, I began visiting a few local churches, and I joined a mom's club and a Bible study. I haven't met my new best friend yet and don't think I'm likely to, but I've made several acquaintances and a few casual friends, and now the city feels less lonely.

Really this is quite a bit of progress but. . . I feel sad and/or frustrated a lot of the time now. More than I did before. Apparently all those dysfunctional behaviors were at least serving the function of helping to distance me from emotional pain and unhappiness. Sometimes I think I'd prefer to still be "crazy" than to feel this way so much of the time.

Do I just need to find some healthier "coping skills" I wonder, or is it more a matter of continuing to work on my issues. How do I know when or if things will get better from here?

I've been impressed by some of what I've read about somatic therapy from those of you here who are trying it. I wonder if that would be a helpful thing to try at this point. I discovered there is a therapist nearby who takes my insurance and does somatic work. She is a trauma specialist, too. I don't want to replace my T, but was thinking maybe as a supplement. I will talk to T about this when I go back.

Any thoughts from anyone are welcome. I guess I'm mostly just posting here to sort my own thoughts out though, lol.