(((turtle))) i happen to enjoy your posts quite a lot, although you may be super sensitive as a lot of us here are, i think that's part of the scariness of posting on forums is because you can't see the people you're interacting, which leaves a ton of space for our imaginations to go bonkers and read the wrong things into what somebody else is saying. wow, that was along sentence!

it IS hard to keep up. i think you can purely lurk if you want. or, just don't put any kind of expectation on yourself ... if you see a particular thread that interests you, then respond to it. yeah, middle ground like you said. the place is full of them. we have people you hardly ever hear from, we have people we hear from almost daily, and there are people in the middle. the way i see it, we're all valuable. nobody is obligated to post at all and if you do post you're not obligated to post to every thread.

i don't know. i kind of know what you mean. if you need to lurk for awhile for your own self, then lurk. there really are no expectations here, hon other than to be understanding and gentle with each other when posting.

be gentle with turtle, (((turtle)))

Hey turtle

I mainly lurk on here, post occasionally but read all the time.
I would think you need to do what feels best for you at this time.
You don't need to make a rule about lurking or not-post (or don't) as it feels
safe to do so?

I certainly don't think you'd be judged by others for choosing not to post-I sincerely
hope you wouldn't anyway! This place seems pretty good about being supportive
of each other wherever members are at any given time. Sure, things went a bit
crazy recently and I'm sad that some of my favourite posters seem to have
disappeared, but my experience of things on here is that people come back sometimes
and are welcomed or new people join and quickly become part of the fabric of the
community and things will get back to "normal" in time.

Maybe you could be kinder to yourself, take a break if you need to, keep
posting if you need to, don't reply to others threads if that feels risky?
I certainly don't see this place as only willing to respond if someone has
posted sufficient replies to others and "earned" the right to be replied to.

Not sure if I'm making any sense, but just wanted to say that in my opinion
you know what's best to do for you, but I don't think you should feel bad
about whatever you post-you're posts and responses seem to me to have been
balanced, caring and valuable!

Take good care and trust you about what you need to do for now!

I'm the same I lurk more than I post but I do read y'all's posts. Idk..I guess cos I'm so young I feel weird giving out therapy advice...but like I said I do read the posts and feel for those who are having rough times.

Thank you Closed Doors, Searching, RT and Diva for your replies. It's nice to know that I am not alone. It's also nice to be assured that you support me.

You're all good people to be sure.

((turtle)) I understand how you feel - I come and go many times as well and I also have really bad anxiety where I'm convinced everything is my fault many times. I think you, and everyone are great contributors here and I hope you'll stay or come back.

After almost every big board incident we'll get 2-3 LOA (leave of absence posts - no matter how involved/not involved they were from the conflict). Thankfully, most come back - either just saying it helped, or feelings calm, or the reassurance from the board was beneficial.

Your feelings are completely normal... there is a middle ground and it's a really tough middle ground - just being yourself and continuing to hold faith in both yourself, and others. It's hard and scary.

((hug)) You aren't alone.

I also think that it is ok and all of us do from time to time - we read a lot and not feel up to posting or we are not motivated to reply to things - for whatever reason. But you can still maintain a presence and keep up relationships by posting in the daily feelings thread, the message to your T thread, the countdown thread etc. Or just give ppl hugs and basic support.

I think just by doing that type of lower key stuff is incredibly beneficial for all of us here. Is that something that would be ok for you to do in those times when posting anxiety sets in?

I think there is room for everyone here - no matter whether they lurk or post all the time. There is something and somebody for everyone to relate to.

Somedays

Hi Turtle...I think you are a valued poster here and you offer some intriguing questions for us to think about and you are a sweet person in general.

I do take posting breaks at times. Usually because I'm overwhelmed at work or with my own issues that leave little energy left for posting. I do try to keep up with PMs and in following peoples stories and progress so when I do go back to post I'm not so out of touch.

I think most people take breaks or come and go. And as SD says, a good middle line would be to post on the general threads of say anything or the check in threads or to send hugs in the other threads. It keeps your foot in without putting on any pressure to offer long responses.

Whatever you choose we will be here for you.

TN

Hi turtle,

I definitely come and go here,mainly because of time pressures but also because I am wary about putting my stuff out there and tend to keep personal thoughts and opinions in. I do feel that I am not being a 'good' memeber if I don't post regularly, but I always read and gets lots from the board in doing that. My T would definitely tell me not to feel pressurised into doing anything I didn't want to. Saying that turtle it's always lovely to hear from you

starfishy