Hi Broken,

My T never told me when his birthday was. But my last T had the same birthday as me and she asked me when mine was so she could tell me we had the same birthday. (Of course, she had all my info on the intake form.)

Do you know when your T's birthday is?

I had a session on my birthday once and my T did wish me a happy birthday several times and it was really nice. But I came flat out and told him at the beginning of the session that it was my birthday.

Is your birthday coming up? You know how expectations are!

DF, I read into that one - that my T already knew but then again, she did have my intake form and seemed very excited to tell me that her birthday was on the same day ... How else would she tell me if she wanted to tell me? Does that make sense? It seemed like such a random thing to ask me .... I guess she could have just told me we had the same birthday ... Nah, that would be too easy in my mind. I have to make everything complicated and convoluted.

Hi Broken,
If you haven't specifically said something recently to remind your T that it is your birthday coming up, then IMO its a good chance that she won't realize it. I don't think most T's have a birthday calendar with all their clients birthdays printed on it that they check every single day. And although we would like to think we are special enough to them -- considering the private details of our lives which we painfully confide to them -- in some ways we are just a number.

I am actually surprised to find that some here have actually been wished happy birthday by their T's, and I wonder if it was completely spontaneous act on the part of their T, or if it happened because it was "fished" for. I know that on my last birthday, my T didn't make any mention at all about it. And so since I was feeling low about that, I texted my T that it was my birthday and could she please wish me a happy one? So she did, but only after I had fished for it. Otherwise she wouldn't have been aware, despite the fact that there was a record of it somewhere in my file. I don't anticipate that my T will remember this year either.

As to whether I know my T's birthday, yes I definitely made it my business to know, because I guess T is a lot more significant to me than I am to her. T did not offer this information, however. She didn't really want me to know it. I found it out by googling. I have given her a birthday card the last 2 birthdays, but no gift because I thought that would be pushing it and it wasn't my intention to make her feel like I expected a reciprocal gift on my own birthday. I don't. But admittedly, I would prefer a reciprocal acknowledgment. But I am not holding my breath.

MH,

I just happened to have a session on my birthday and came right out and told T it was my birthday. And, so how could he not with me a happy birthday? That would have been obnoxious.

My T's bday I think might be in the same month as mine - so I'm really dying to know when his bday is ... wouldn't that be wierd if his bday was the same day as mine? Two T's with the same bday as mine????? What are the odds of that??? Even two T's with the same birthday month????

Maybe I'll ask him someday when his birthday is ....

And, so did Broken ever tell us if her bday is coming up?

Thanks for all the support! I needed it! The day
came and went-- NOTHING! Wishing things were different, but oh well.

I thought that my biggest wish would be for for T to acknowledge my special day, but I guess now my biggest wish is for me to overcome this attachment to her and realize that I am on my own.

I feel so disconnected with T right now. I'm startin to wonder if she's the ONE for me, or is there someone else better suited for my BPD issues?--Broken