Major depression has deep underlying issues, and 2 yrs isn't really a long time in dealing with the core issues, a good therapist won't use labels, and will treat you as you present. I was labelled BPD yrs ago, and it was wrong, I've also been hospilized with clinical depression, been in therapy 7yrs and the depression is still difficult and maybe life long, but I am able to tolerate it a lot better now and go inside and find out what it is thats going on for me in that moment.

I have not officially been diagnosed with BPD, it is a conclusion I have come to on my own as I continue to research symptoms on my own. I have had one therapist who dropped me cold after I confronted her in group about what I perceived as a personal attack. When I approached her in person after she would not return my calls she told me she was sorry she could not help me and "wished me luck in my pursuit of perfection".

My insurance carrier has recently ordered a interdisciplinary assessment which included cognitive testing. I am terrified that this assessment will show that I in fact do have "character flaws" (BPD) and not depression thereby allowing them to terminate my LTD.

My BPD assessment seems to make sense as I have not responded to meds or therapy. I understand what the different therapies, which have included CBT, Holistic Healing, group therapy and one on one are teaching me but I continue to remain "stuck".

I'm just so tired, confused and scared. I want to rejoin the world but don't know how thats going to happen at this point. Thanks for listening!

Hi.

I'm sorry drug therapy and talk therapy aren't helping you! I can so relate!!

I actually just gave up on the meds two weeks ago....wanted everything out of my system and going back to my GYN to get hormone testing and then after that possibly a 2nd opinion from another psychiatrist. After a year with my therapist I think I'm stopping that, too, as I can no longer have open and honest communication with her. I sit numb and frozen, and now that I quit meds she seems to be treating me differently. I'm actually at a loss right now what to do and even though I'm not the praying type anymore, I feel praying about it might just be the last choice I have. I think I just want to stop thinking about how I feel, because I don't know! Somehow I need to figure out how to live with depression, I guess....like you, it feels like I want to rejoin the world but don't know how.

I wish I had some wisdom to offer you.

Thanks very much to all of you!!!

To be able to put thoughts "out there" and not worry about being judged or have a pen start scribbling madly on my file.

I've also done the hormone testing Ninn hoping it would turn out that some type of pill would finally work on my symptoms and be able to drop the mentally ill label.

Again, I appreciate everyones input and have taken away something from each of your posts.