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25 replies

Boundaries/respect

muffmuffMember
I once saw a lady patient bawling her eyes in T's arms. It went on for 20mins. In that time T said nothing. The lady was trying to say things but she was too upset to make any sense. He just held her while she cried and snotted all over his suit.

It scared me to think I might lose it like that, and for some reason I was fascinated by what I saw. No one knew I could see what was happening. I was hidden behind a door and snuck a peep every now and then.

His secretary tried to interject with a phone message, but T waved her away. It was obvious the lady was his priority.

I never did lose it like that lady did, and always felt I was his priority in session.

I knew I could ring him at anytime if I was in crises. That only happened a few times in therapy, and it was in between his sessions with his other patients.

There must be some kind of boundaries set by a T, if not for my sake, for others.
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T tasMember
I would never let a T. put his arms around me and hold me. I do, for myself, think it is a boundary I would not want to cross and truly would not feel comfortable with.

All boundaries are not the same...some should not be so fixed. Some should be erected and then taken down or moved...or maybe not so high...some should be permeable while others should be solid. One size does not fit all.
S stoppersMember
I don't think being a therapist is all that hard of a job. I do believe very few of them do a good job, some are adequate and a good many incompetent. Everyone has boundaries. Clients get them too. I would not want one of them touching me for example, but I do believe the ones I see would touch a client if the client was such that touch was both desired and appropriate.
muffmuffMember
I have read enough in here about peoples experiences with their T's to know many of them are not worth spitting on.

In that respect I can understand ones caution in trying again with another T. I have no advise except to go by your gut feelings as to weather they are trust worthy, and indeed genuinely give a damn.
muffmuffMember
I think you would agree with me AG, in that there should be more monitoring of T's and their treatments. Patients should have a right to express their grievances; be heard and acted upon by a board of psych members. T's must be held more accountable for their actions, especially when they abandon their patients. They can do more harm than good.

Rage was good AG. You made a lot of sense in that post.
Attachment GirlAttachment GirlAdmin
Absolutely Muff one of the reasons I think forums like this are important is to give patients a voice and inform themselves about what good therapy looks like. No one should go blindly into treatment for anything. But there is another extreme of expectations from the patient that I believe can be unreasonable, unhealthy and harmful. It's not black and white. But as I said, not in a good place to be discussing this so I will bow out. Sorry to interrupt the thread.

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