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6 replies

Breaks and dealing with wanting more time

T tygrMember
Hi all

I haven't posted here for a long time really. Hopefully some of you still remember me. I see quite a few familiar names are around.

About a month ago I had to cut back to fortnightly sessions for financial reasons. Over Easter my T took a holiday so it ended up being 3 weeks between sessions. When I went for my session this week I found it very stressful because so much had happened in that time emotionally it was hard to remember all the things I wanted to tell her. My old T used to be very keen on discussing breaks, so much so that a week's break would involve discussion to prepare for the break in the session before, having the break and then discussing the impact of the break in the first session back which would infuriate me as the break seemed to take up three times as long as it should! But this T just said it was only a week longer than usual, seemingly not understanding why I was making an issue of it. For me, a) three weeks is still a long time in therapy and b) for over a year I've been seeing her weekly and haven't really adjusted to the fortnightly thing yet.

I saw her yesterday and I had a job interview today and waiting another 13 days to talk to her about it seems soooo looooong!

I can email her although she won't respond with more than a few words but I try not to.

I think I want to tell her that I'm struggling with the gaps and that three weeks is a big deal. Do you think I should email her? Or get through it and see how I feel in a fortnight? I definitely can't afford to see her more often. I can't actually afford to see her as much as I do.

Thanks

Tygr.
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closeddoorscloseddoorsMember
(((tygr))) although we're in different countries, i feel as though the not being able to afford therapy is a sign-of-the-times. i had to quit for the same reason, and am having other health issues and quite frankly am concerned about being able to afford any of it. it sucks, to say the least.

i guess i am inclined to say to email her. this is important to you and you have the green light to do so. take care of yourself and do it, and if things need to change around that then your T can let you know about it.

i hope your interview went well Smiler

welcome back!
T tygrMember
It's rubbish the whole money thing Frowner

I've started drafting an email but it's so hard to know how much to say and whether I should try to hold on to it until next time. We haven't really discussed the boundaries around email. She doesn't seem to mind but I feel like I'm trying to get her time for free if I'm using it.

It's gone 2.30 in the morning here but I can't seem to let it go and sleep.
closeddoorscloseddoorsMember
tygr, my T used to encourage me to write if i couldn't sleep. forget about knowing "how much to say" and just write it all down. you can decide tomorrow if you want to email it to her or hold on to it until your next session. write it down unedited and get some rest. you can figure out tomorrow what to do with it. try and get some rest.
T tygrMember
Hello

I emailed her at 3 a.m. and said she could tell me to stop emailing her if she wanted to and she said to keep emailing as it gives her a sense of my anxiety levels.

She's offered me an extra session next week but I've turned it down because I really can't afford it. She's already cut her price back for me and increasing the time between sessions is my second cost cutting measure. I'm currently unemployed and whilst I'm confident that finances will pick up eventually I'm not comfortable about getting into any more debt to have therapy. Otherwise, I'll be paying her to talk about how worried I am about money!

I'm glad I told her I was finding it difficult. I had the sense that she thinks that I'm not that committed to it. To be honest, I'm not as committed as I could be but the cost is a big part of it. I'm constantly evaluating whether I'm getting good value for money and worrying about the expense which doesn't make for a very therapeutic environment.
divadivaMember
I know the whole break thing all too well. I go to my university counseling center so the longest I was away from T was almost 4 months for summer break. It was so hard but talking about it with T and preparing for it as much as possible really did help. Even the shorter breaks, (thanksgiving, Easter, spring break) seemed like forever but the more open I was its T about how much I missed her in between sessions helped her to help me better as far as coping skills, self shooting and stuff like that. She encouraged me to email her during the longer breaks (summer and Christmas) so it helped to know if I really really needed it, she wasn't opposed to setting up a phone session with me. I would also encourage you to be open with your T about the breaks and how hard they are for you, it's not easy thing to deal with. I'm sure if she knew how hard 3 weeks was for you she could help you to find some skills to cope in between sessions. Smiler

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