((((Maclove))))

oh, I can so relate so well. My mother has had breast cancer three times - three seperate cancers. By God's grace, she has survived all three. Recently my mother and I were in a gocery store and for pete's sake, even cereal and soup cans had breast cancer ribbons on them. My mother exclaimed, "sometimes I would like to just by some damn soup without being reminded of having cancer!"

I don't really get it. Oh, I love my mother and I understand people want to help and think all the "awareness" is so great - and it is, to a limit. When soup cans have break cancer ribbons on them just to sell some more (ok to many a cent or two goes towards research but really... it's getting out a hand... ) I just want to scream.

The worst was when we got to the checkout line, after choose soup without the ribbons printed on the labels, they cashier asked if we wanted to "round up" to donate to breast cancer. I said no and she asked if I was sure.

Sure?!

I told her "no, we've given enough and dealt with cancer. You want to help pay my mom's insurance bills for her chemo treatments? Tat would be really helpful thing you could do for breast cancer - not be pushy to people who have NO AWARENESS about my family that has fought this disease for generations and we have given enough. We just want to by groceries in peace. Thank you."

(yep, I can be a real smart ass. But she would not take no for an answer! Well, at least not until I stuck my foot in my mouth and told her exactly how I felt.)

btw, I still shop there all the time and the clerk is super nice and apoligized... I did too...

This cancer runs in my family and my mom has expressed worries I will get it. I'm glad for all the research and people who want to help... and yet there are a million other diseases and even a gazillion (give or take a few) other kinds of cancers too. What about them?!

I don't get all the overblown "awareness" - and even the parts I can empathize with, and the heart behind it can often be well intentioned... I just want to get away from sometimes - no, I want to get away from it often and much. I WANT TO BUY SOUP IN PEACE. I don't need to be reminded.

I have enough reminders. ENOUGH.

I'm so sorry your mother is battling this. It's not easy. It was so hard when my mom lost her hair...

It's weird, with all the "awareness" of breast cancer and all the "support," it doesn't feel like there is much "awareness" that a lot of people are actually dealing with it daily and that sometimes, they want some darn space and that there is so little awareness that all the reminders to give a penny or a dollar here and here are also remidners to people who are hurting and battling it who need to be able to get space and live life away from it too! I think some of all the awareness and effort to "do something" is a reflection of society generally being unable to sit with pain and disease they can't fix right away. People want to feel good and like they can do something - yet for me, and for my mom, most often the very thing that makes the most difference is just what you are doing. Being with your mom in the practical ways you can...

ok. I'll put my soap box away and stop ranting now...

hoping and praying your mom gets well. many hugs to you walking through this.

~ jane

Hi Jane,
I’m happy someone else feels the same way, even though the reason for it is unfortunate

quote:

When soup cans have break cancer ribbons on them just to sell some more

Exactly. I really think that Breast Cancer Awareness is turning into a consumer holiday. It seems like every company and store just wants to get in on the action by plastering ribbons everywhere.

quote:

This cancer runs in my family and my mom has expressed worries I will get it.

I don’t know if this cancer runs in my family or will start running in the family because my mom is literally the only one who’s had it. So I know that I’ll probably want to start getting mammograms at an earlier age, but I hadn’t thought about it beyond that till yesterday morning when I was watching The Today Show. They had on two girls who had the genetic testing done and it came back very high- like 80-90% chance- so they both chose to get a double mastectomy. But the thing is they are both in their early 20’s. I think the one girl was 21! Now I’m feeling like I have to worry about this now and I'm only 19.

quote:

People want to feel good and like they can do something - yet for me, and for my mom, most often the very thing that makes the most difference is just what you are doing. Being with your mom in the practical ways you can...

Thank you, I agree 100%.

Thank you for replying, Jane

((((Maclove))))))

I'm so sorry that you have to see your pain plastered everywhere. I'm so glad that you felt comfortable expressing how you feel here. And it is really easy to just donate some money and worlds away from being in the trenches and dealing directly with it. Your mothers are both blessed to have daughters who can stay with them in this pain and help them. I don't have much that's helpful to say but wanted you to know that you were heard.

Maclove, you have my prayers for your mother's recovery.

AG

Thank you for your kind words, AG