I can read all there is to know about say, childbirth, but to fully understand it I would have to feel it. That will never happen because my child bearing days are over, also the thought of me giving birth had always been alien to me. My emotional problems prevented me from feeling any need to have children. Instead, motherhood conjured up a real sense of my limitations of me ever fulfilling that role in any capable caring capacity. I could connect with and dictate what an infants needs were but was unable, or unwilling to fulfill them. My 'inner child' was screaming, "What about me? Why should I give what was never given to me." Again, I hear my parents. The family circle in me ceased when I denied access to it. Thankfully, my unborn children never asked to be born.

Suffice to say, readers might have a concept of my experiences in therapy, but will not fully understand unless they have felt it.

And what I have felt intensely in therapy is the one thing we all fear the most, anger. I'm not writing about the huff and puff, shiddy anger that most people are fairly comfortable with. This anger/rage is the real rotten core stuff, inaccessible to anyone with half an ounce of control. It has taken thirty seven years of therapy to reach thus far, so rest assure it wont happen to you.

Having typed that much, more needs to be said about the effects of no love on the individual and society in general. I think we get that picture each time we watch the news.
His shrinkness is head down bum up with his scribes re the above. I am not at all optimistic that anyone will "get it." After all, he writes about what I write, and who in here wants to know, and feel that?


Because we are so afraid of anger we don’t want to know about it, or we don’t want to know what we are so afraid of. We have to feel anger/rage to understand it, and who wants that?


"Juice cleansing has been all the rage for some time. And I used the word 'rage' advisedly; one must push a violent flood of liquidised vegetables and fruit through one's system for at least three days in order to perform a 'cleanse.'"

Sloane Crosley


One more day to go before a brain 'cleanse.'

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