I agree with CtL that it's a time thing. And consistency is important to me, too - both in how my therapist is with me in session and in what he says.

To be honest, trust is a big issue for me. I know I need to trust my T in order to do the work, but trusting him terrifies me as the people who did the damage were people I trusted. People I should have been safe with.

So trusting feels like a double-edged sword. I want to because it's necessary in order to open up about the big stuff, but I don't want to because of the fear that once I eventually trust him, he'll hurt me.

Sorry, that wasn't a very helpful answer, was it?! Obviously it's something I'm still working on. I'm sure someone else will have more insightful ideas.

(((TAS)))

landa

I agree that time and consistency are both very important in building trust. I also agree with Draggers that disclosing little things at first helped me to see how T responded, and when she responded in a way that made me feel validated and secure, my trust in her grew as well.

TAS

I agree with all thats been said here.

Time and total honesty with T is the
way to build that trusting relationship.

It is a two way thing and I was very
happy when my T asked me for MY opinion
on a new business she is considering.

That made me believe we have developed
a very trusting relationship over the months.

Thank you for all the replies and concern. I really appreciate you each sharing your experience. I had a meeting with my Therapist yesterday and I seem to be so activated that he suggested we go to once a week sessions.

I explained to him that in my mind I know that he is not the abuser...but the whole dynamic of therapy is even a hurdle for me...trusting him and I see or feel that he has the power...does not make me comfortable. I talk to myself ALL the time telling myself he IS NOT the enemy.

I just see hurdles, trusting, talking, vulnerability...trying to control the elements of therapy so that everything feels safe.

I am my own worst enemy.

Hi
welcome to this forum , this forum has helped me alot, how to build trust ! hm it took alot of time , sorry to say about 2 years to fully see that my t is there for me and now ca 4 years later sometimes I am still in doubt, I think sometimes i trust himm 100% and sometimes little less .. I think what is importend is to let your self trust somebody, that is what I am think ,

Thank you so much Anna. I appreciate you sharing that with me. T.