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Called the P that is covered by my insurance and works out of the same office I see T at. Listened to his voicemail. His voice sounded nice, not at all like what I expected from his picture and bio on his webpage. I have pretty much zero chance of transference with him, because he's only a year or two older than I am. He's the type of guy I would have been friend with in high school, LOL. Mostly just instructions on who/how to contact if you were prospective vs current patient and whether you wanted an appointment vs were in crisis vs life-threatening emergency. One thing that was like WTF was, "If you are a prospective new patient and I don't return your call within two weeks, this means my schedule is currently full. Please accept my apologies." Um, what? Call back and say you're full! Don't just leave me hanging for two weeks. Can you imagine me, unable to go for a few days without hearing from my T, who I actually trust, waiting two weeks to hear from a stranger about whether or not he has time for me? Seriously...but it would be easier on me if T and my P could coordinate. So, I had an anxiety attack and hung up right when it beeped without leaving a message.

So, now, my next step is either to text my T a "WTF? Two weeks and I might not even hear back?" or to call and leave a message with this P and wait...
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Well, he also doesn't return voicemails on Mondays, Tuesdays, weekends and holidays (he has a separate phone for his actual patients that he does take calls all the time for). My T works out of that office Monday and Tuesday only and is in another town Monday/Tuesday. Now, I'm wondering if they even really know each other at all. Sheesh. Sent T a text explaining my reservations and said, "In what alternative universe can we imagine me being able to handle that scenario?" LOL.
One of my (former) doctors always said the same thing - she made her clients call in for test results, and her office never returned phone calls. Their policy was "if you don't hear from us, then everything is fine, don't worry." Well, my GP said that is not acceptable, that the office should ALWAYS call with results. What was even more annoying, that if I did call for results and ended up leaving a message, no one ever called back! Yes, she is finally a FORMER doctor, after years of suffering.

If I were you, I would *try* to leave a message, stating something along the lines of "I am looking to make an appointment with Dr. X. However, if return phone calls take more than 48 hours, there will be no need to return the call." Or something like that. If this Dr is truly good, and came with a good recommendation, it might be worth trying that? Or not!
Yeah, a lot of doctors say they won't contact if the results are normal, but after my last appointment, my doctor sent a message (through their secure online center) that everything was normal anyway. I guess, after telling her about how hard it was for me to do that appointment and why, she just wanted to be extra sensitive with me, which was nice.

I got some nice validation from T that the Pdoc's message was unusual and that he may not be the best match if I'm feeling stressed. He mentioned another one, but she's no covered. So then, he reassured me that he knows this guy a little and he has a great reputation and if I decide to go through him, T "will be able to be along side, so to speak, as [I] step forward with him." Obviously, due to scheduling, T can't go into my sessions...but he can coordinate with him a bit and support me more than he could with a complete stranger. I texted him back and asked if there's anything specific I need to make sure to mention...like, I don't know if I'm supposed to bring up the dissociation stuff or just say, "I'm having a hard time since I started therapy and I'm considering medication," and then let him ask any questions he wants to.
Gearing myself up to call and leave a message. Ack! I wrote myself a little script that sounds so formal, as if I'm a customer service agent or something. I think that's the only way I can deal with it. I'm like the Cowardly Lion here. Where's my courage?

Edit (because I don't want to bump my own thread again): I called, read out my script, felt like a fool. I feel sick, worn out and achey, like my head has been clamped in a vise. I don't understand how a 30 second phone message and the threat of having to talk to this person (or having them ignore me and never call back) is SO dang triggering to me. It's ridiculous!!! What is my issue with phone calls?
Calling for a P was hard for me. Because I got different office standards at every place I called. The only one taking new patients, that I had to settle on (and because my T said she has clients that go to him and they say he listens well, etc.) didn't all back for 9 days! When I told my T that it had been 7 days with no call, she said that is absolutely not okay. She said, "Do you want me to call there right now and put them on speaker phone?" OMG, I was like, NOOOOOO! She said, "Well, I want to." But she didn't because I said no.

Anyway, I would call back, and leave a voice message. Inconsistency is bad, but you just gotta go for it and see what happens. Hope it works out for you.

(Edit: I see you called. I share phone-call-triggering issues with you....I hate them hate them hate them, especially with strangers and sensitive personal issues....also because sometimes I know I can be moody I am afraid how I will act and react, because I don't like that about myself, but anyway, hugs to you, good for you for calling)
Thanks, Ninn. I am almost as scared of him calling back as I am of him not calling back. I do NOT like talking to people on the phone. I actually dislike it more than in person. Outside of my H and my sisters, T is the only one I have ever felt comfortable having a phone conversation with and it was work to be comfortable with that. I don't want to have to tell this guy about my crazy dissociation stuff. I don't want to open up to another person. Somehow, T just crawled under my radar, because I usually keep people out. I can give lots of "information" without surrendering to actual vulnerability. But, my T got in there. I have made myself start to let some other people in (like my pastor), but 90% of the people who know what is going on with me, I am able to share detached/objective observations, not actual emotions as I am experiencing them. It's too much work to get that close to anyone. And, I do not want to let anyone else in...or try and fail. Not that I have to tell this guy my whole life story, but I am being called upon to specifically tell him how I am feeling and that is the WORST thing someone could ask me to do. Ick.

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