((((PUPPET))))

I just read a journal article? yesterday written by a therapist who actually encourages her clients to use her voicemail as a transitional object. OHHHH, so please try to stop beating yourself up. What if she has caller id? And knows it's you. What's wrong with saying, I was just feeling blue and needed to hear your voice? I know it feels so vulnerable and risky and it's so much easier for me to do as I say and not as I do. But I've felt so much shame and embarrassment in my life re: my emotional needs and it hurts me to see someone else feel that way too!

xoxox

Liese

(((Puppet))), I still haven't mustered the courage to place even one phone call to my T, even when I've really wanted to and even when at the end of each session he always says "Please call me at anytime."

You had a need and you acted on it. That encourages the rest of us to do the same. I imagine your T will think it's a good thing too, even if you weren't able to speak.

quote:

Originally posted by Liese:
...I've felt so much shame and embarrassment in my life re: my emotional needs and it hurts me to see someone else feel that way too!

(((Liese))) this is such a sweet concern, my heart needed to respond and tell you so.

Hi Puppet... My T encourages me to call his voice mail as a transitional coping method when he is gone... or even on a weekend and I do it. I do it and I even tell him when I do it. I have even paged him and when he calls me back I have told him that email was not a good option because I needed to hear his voice. He thinks it's so great that I tell him that. He gets totally excited over it like I did something great! And so it makes it that much easier the next time and then eventually, I know I can do it and it's okay so I don't even need to do it.

I think Liese had it right. You can just be open and tell your T why you called the number and that you needed to hear her voice to help you. I think she will feel you are very smart to think of using that coping mechanism.

Please don't beat yourself up for doing something healthy for yourself.

TN

wow, thank you everyone for your kind encouraging words!! it means so much to me and i know i will come back and read them again and again.
for the moment i feel the need to run and hide for a little while...
sorry for the short reply. will come back later when i've had more of a chance to process...
((liese, D, hemlock, TN)) group hug !

puppet

(((((Puppet)))) I think it was great and you were brave to call when you needed to! I don't think there is anything weird or stalker-ish about it at all. Big hugs to you- keep on with your good work.

Love,

Beebs

Puppet, you have done nothing wrong so please don't beat yourself up. I believe that your T would be proud of you for paying attention to your needs. I think it is perfectly natural to want to hear her voice for reassurance especially when she has left you to go away.

((((((((Puppet))))))))

Butterfly

i've had more time to think and i'm also beginning to see that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. maybe it was something i needed to do. and the fact that i let myself call her without thinking it through too much, maybe shows that i'm making progress?... i still go back and forth and i so cringe when i remember..... it was also at such a late hour, i thought that this late surely her office phone wont be on... who calls at 9pm at night!!?? that makes it worse as well...

yes, she did answer. at first the voicemail went on but just for a few seconds and then she picked up..... so i totally freaked, fumbled quickly with my phone and hung up!

DF, beebs & butterfly! thank you so much for the hugs and understanding, it really helps to reinforce that maybe i'm just normal too...!?
((hugs back))!

p.s. i'm hoping that in 2 weeks by the time i have my next session this whole thing would have blown over... although it might be good to talk about it - at some stage, when i muster enough courage.


puppet

((((((PUPPET)))))

Glad you are feeling better.

xoxox

Liese

Puppet,

Your story reminded me of one of the first times I called my T. I FREAKED out because I expected it to go to voicemail and I had my speech all prepared. Then, she answers. She threw me through a loop. So, I said... "um, I wasn't expecting you to answer." She said, "Well, I am not hanging up now...so what's up?"

I felt like such a nerd. BUT, in the end it was all okay because when it came down to it, all I really wanted was to hear her voice and if I needed that..then so be it.

I think it's good that you reached out, and that you were taking care of you. That's what's important!

Glad you are feeling better about all of this.

((HUGS))

thanks brokenillusions! you were brave and composed yourself quickly if you were able to keep talking to her. nothing else crossed my mind except to hung up! in fact, it didn't feel like i thought about it, it was more of an automatic freak out reaction - run and hide!

in a funny way, this had made the break and the whole waiting thing easier, as now i dont want my next session to come as I know I will still be freaked out about the phone thing and what she will say or if she will say anything about it...

liese, thanks for your message. i am trying. i'll probably freak out again a few days before my session.

a very tired
puppet
p. who hates her job!

Puppet,

Glad you are feeling better about this and seeing that it is not such a bad thing after all. I'm sure you aren't the first and probably won't be the last person who has called and hung up on her. And I do think its a sign of progress that you were even willing to reach out at all and call, even if you ended up changing your mind. Reaching out is a good thing!