Jo,
I know how you feel, believe me. But please also believe you're not alone.
Keep posting,you will be supported. I wish there was more I could do!
For what it's worth, I'm here and I understand. And even though it's a cliché, this too shall pass.

I

Thanks intense. YOu're post made me cry.

I feel there is no one I can turn to right now. So your note meant a lot to me.

My sister called and I pretended that all was well because she really doesn't need me telling her all my woes right now.

I can't seem to stop crying.

Hi Jo, I've only posted a few times on this board but I have read it for months. You are one of the people who kept me going on this board. If I remember correctly you changed your name on this board at one time. Have I got that right? I am dealing with major depression and feeling like crying and just wanting to die. I got online desperately looking for some signs of life and read your post. You have a reason to keep going! Your posts have touched my life and I know others as well. There is a reason to keep going FIND IT! For me it is my grandaughters. I don't know you but I do know yu are WORTHY to be here on this earth! Don't give up! Let us all not give up. God bless you!

((((Tuesday))))

Thank you. Your words have touched me and your message has reached me. I am SO glad that you decided to post here.

I don't have a lot to keep me going. So broke, lonely, facing hard stuff, parents sick and dying. It sounds stupid but I do love my dog. She is a sweetheart.

Jo-

I'm so sorry to hear that you are finding yourself in such a dark and lonely place. But you are not alone. Please don't stop reaching out for help. Can you call the t you're seeing these days?

I'm so glad you have your dog right now... she sounds like a good reason to get up tomorrow, so I would start there. One day at a time is all you can do. And I can only imagine what it must be like with both of your parents dying, but if these are some of your last moments with them, I hope you can cherish what experiences you can.

We are here for you, listening, reading, hoping, hurting right along with you... I see it kinda like an army of people struggling to make the best of what we've been given... we want you fighting with us Jo. You have a place here, a voice... please don't discount that for yourself. Keep going. I believe you can.

-CT
((((JO))))

Good morning Jo, It is NOT stupid to love your dog. What's your baby's name? I would love to hear about her. I miss so much not being able to have animals as my grandaughter is allergic to furry critters. My heart aches for all that you are going through. Hang in there and keep moving forward!

Good morning Jo,

Just wanted to know how you're doing today.
Please keep posting, we do care!

i

Tuesday my dog is a sweetheart. She is 10 years old and I have had her since she was 7 weeks. I love her.

HB you amaze me that you can be so giving and kind in the situation you are in. I know you live in fear daily and that you take the time and effort to comfort and assure me tells me what a truly wonderful person you are. I feel honored to have you as an online friend. Because of people like you and the rest here I can honestly say that this is the best group I hav ever been in whether it be online or in person.

INtense Thanks for asking. I was more angry today so I guess that's a good sign. Sometimes anger is a sign of hope for me.

Right now I am sort of fuming because I spent about 6 hours cleaning out my mom's vehicle so she can sell it. I told her that i worked my ass off and she says "Okee doke" I don't know why but that made me so angry. I was expecting her to say "Thank you"

Jo


I am sorry your mom did not recognize your efforts. It is amazing that despite how you are feeling you were able to spend 6 hours cleaning out your mom's car.

Anger is good, it definately beats the alternative!

Keep posting, you have so many people here who care! Thinking of u tonight.

whereami

Hi Jo,

How are you doing after the weekend? Do you have a session coming up soon? I hope you are okay...I am melancholy today...sorta lonely, stuck in therapy and not sure what to talk about, and bored(and feeling guilty about it..sigh...)....mlc

Thank you Whereami! Thanks for the kind words

Hi MLC

I just stopped in because I didnt want you guys to worry about me. I am still alive and kicking. I know how you feel mlc. I have been lonely lately too. I do make friends easily but over the last 9 years I have avoided making friends. The only people I talk to is my family. That gets old sometimes particularly given that everyone is stressed out.

Sometimes I want to find people on line who I can call and just chat with. My phone doesn't ring enough.

How are you stuck in therapy?

Jo

I have to post again.

I don't know what it is but when I come here I cry almost every time. You guys are all so nice. So supportive. It's rare to find a place like this especially on the net.

I just want you all to know that I appreciate you. I thank you too shrinklady for starting this site. It has a certain magic to it. Every where else you go where people are annonymous you find people who say things that aren't so nice.

quote:

Originally posted by Jo:
Every where else you go where people are annonymous you find people who say things that aren't so nice.

I know what you mean. I used to read the forums for the product I work on, until the posters crushed my soul. Stick your neck out to tell them something and they attack like a swarm of angry piranhas. I leave the forums to the folks who are paid to deal with them now.

Excuse me, my bitter is showing

Glad to hear you are hanging in there!

quote:

I know what you mean. I used to read the forums for the product I work on, until the posters crushed my soul. Stick your neck out to tell them something and they attack like a swarm of angry piranhas

I think of people like that as cowards. They wouldn't dare speak to you that way face to face.

quote:

Originally posted by Jo:
I have to post again.

I don't know what it is but when I come here I cry almost every time. You guys are all so nice. So supportive. It's rare to find a place like this especially on the net.

I.

Hi Jo. I am pretty new here, but I can't beleive how wonderfully supportive everyone is. I feel incredibley lucky to have found you all! I agree with you when you said "sometimes I want to find people on line who I can call and just chat with." I have always made friends pretty easily, but am so lonely right now. I wish I felt safe enough to talk to my friends and get some support. . . but I don't. I really feel fortunate to have everyone on here who seems to understand and experieence so many of the feelings I do.

Glad to see you posting today, Jo.

whereami

"How are you stuck in therapy?"...well...not sure...it's a feeling, I guess...I don't know what to do, what to talk about, where to go, etc. I'm kinda bored with my life, feeling uncreative, and only aware of an occasional fear/anxiety that pops up in the evenings. I have my session tomorrow and I could bring this 'fear thing' up; but then what? I feel like I've stopped thinking...like I have no insights or ideas about things...like I've already covered all of the aspects of my life that are to be covered and like..."that's that, that's all folks, that's all you get, this is me and there is nothing more to me."...so, now what do I do? I feel like I'm such a boring, bored person with nothing interesting to say...(part of the reason I don't like posting under the coffee talk section of this website)...anyway...that's all....mlc

Hey HB I am doing a little better. It wouldn't take much! How are you doing now? How's your uncle and Aunt?

Mlc, you sound depressed to me. How long have you seen your T? And did you know that boredom can be a sign that you are just not wanting to face something, like perhaps fear itself.

Sounds like depression Mlc.

How did it go during that emergency session? Were you able to tell her how you were really feeling?

Hi Jo,

I just wanted to write you a quick note to say that I think you are right re me being depressed....and thank you for your thoughts and concern(that means alot to me)...I have a session today and will write more later(I just can't seem to think right now..)...mlc

Hi Jo,

I just had a session with my T...it seems the 'fear thing' might be related to the connection I have with my T; that is, the fear gets stronger whenever I think about our connection. I'm not sure what is going on...I know people/connection/relationships are scary for me in general; I also know that along with connxn comes alot of distortions on my part--like, love and anger at the same time cannot exist(I couldn't love my Mom or my sister and be angry with them at the same time)...so..if I feel the slightest bit of anger at someone as wonderful as my T....FEAR, big time!...or...does connxn=sex for me? Do I make connxn equal to sex for a reason?...like, to scare people or myself away from making a friend? mlc

Hey Jo

I had same experience.
When I called crisis line. They were busy. I got a voice mail. I thought it was really ridiculous. No offence. I guess they are short of volunteers or there are too many ppl who need to talk to someone. That’s the last time I used crisis line. I felt like another rejection and felt really ridiculous about hearing voice mail. How irony that was…

I just laugh about it now… but at the same time it’s very sad thing…