Hi,

I am having issues with transference and have terminated with yet another therapist.

Can only stay with a T for max of 6 months and then my feelings start to grow and I feel totally trapped by them. This time my mum died suddenly, followed by my uncle. I couldn't deal with the bereavement as well as the toxicity of the therapy.

Know I suffered from childhood neglect, but surely there is a way to manage my childhood 'unmet needs' whilst in therapy. Mind you I've experienced counter transference from both T's that I've recently walked away from.

Anyway, here's a copy of a letter that I wrote to my ex T. She was the first person I called on the day my mother died in hospital. I have yet to receive a reply to my email.

Hi x,

Hope all's well with you.

Just thought that I'd you know that visiting AA meetings regularly is all I need to stay away from the drink, and that I will not require any future therapy sessions.

It's not easy for me to permanently walk away from therapy with yourself. I feel that I have become too emotionally involved, and can no longer benefit from having addiction therapy with you.
Since you were the first person that I spoke to on the day my mother died, it has changed a lot of things for me. In fact, think lots of things have dramatically changed since my mum's death, some good and
some not so good. Anyway, one thing's for sure, I definitely can't stay in contact with you as your patient.

Not being to dependent on unavailable people, drugs, etc etc, is my idea of 'self care' during times of extreme vulnerability. As I have previously mentioned, I sometimes find the therapeutic dynamic to be frustratingly
one sided, and I feel much more at ease when someone reveals their personal information and thoughts, during a conversation.

Wanted to discuss the aforementioned issue with you when we had our last Skype session, but just couldn't seem to get the courage to express my thoughts, and just rambled on about other stuff. I was really trying to
get used to the idea of just disappearing and never contacting you again. However, it just didn't seem right for me to just vanish into thin air, and never let you know the reason why.

I would really like to stay in contact with you via email, on a personal level, however, I would never wish to place you in an ethically awkward situation.

Take care,