I think that it can be dangerous to be to attached to your T, just as it can be dangerous to be too attached to anyone. Some people say that the attachment is what makes the therapy healing, but when you are in the hands of the wrong therapist, it can really mess a person up. So I say proceed with caution.

Hi Daisy,

In my opinion there’s no such thing as being “too” anything. You aren’t “too” attached; you just have a certain kind of attachment to your T. It sounds to me from your post that you are questioning or feeling bad about your attachment. I think that it’s perfectly okay to be dependent and reliant on your T at this point, as long as you’re aware that a very strong dependency and attachment isn’t what you’re striving for in the end... Does that make sense? Sorry if it doesn’t. Being upset about ending with your T for whatever the reason might be is VERY normal and healthy, don’t feel bad about those feelings!!

I think your questions at the end are very reasonable and healthy questions to be asking. Could you spend a session going over your progress with your T? Sometimes (most of the time) it’s really hard to see how far you’ve come till you look back at where you were.

daisy, good question. i guess 'too' is still an opinion...and subjective.

but,

a good friend of mine, who is also a therapist, has urged me to 'fall in love with the process, not the therapist'.

this was after a devastating (but now i see it as a good thing) termination from someone i was strangely attached, yet, somewhat afraid of (she was mean, i could see glipses here and there).

so...

i think sometimes the love that we feel, or don't feel!, is largely just having the undivided (or not) attention of someone. and having gone through 4 t's...i see that each one has their gifts, and has helped me in different ways.

so, i guess, there is not a black or white answer, but dependancy always scares me...and that is not a virtue.

sorry i have no answer, just thought i'd quote what i think of often...for me, it is not love for the t, i think actually, i don't like her. don't know if it is projections or reality...another story!! jill

Hi Daisy,

I'm very attached to my T right now and find it unsettling and giving me a sense of peace at the same time. I'm very dependent upon him right now for validation of my world and a positive sense of self worth. I think ultimately if the relationship ended abruptly say due to his untimely death, I would probably be okay. He knows I find my dependency unsettling. He also reassures me that it is part of the process and that ultimately I will be able to give myself what he gives me. I really hope so!!!! Just my experience, FWIW.

Liese