Hi smiley... I'm very sorry your T cancelled again due to a death. I know you understand BUT it still STINKS! It really does and you are allowed to feel that way. I'm glad you could express that here with us. Did she offer an alternate appointment later this week? Could you ask for one stressing that it is important because you already missed last week?

Please don't stay alone with your feelings. Express them here and hopefully it will keep you feeling more on an even footing to vent with us. I know how hard breaks are when they are planned...but these sudden and unexpected ones are the hardest.

Thinking of you
TN

I'm so sorry, Smiley!

I'm very dependent on my weekly sessions, too I'm the same as you, sometimes I just want to sit there with her.

Do you journal? That might help, to get your (not-stupid) emotions out and not have them sit within you.

Thanks TN,BG, and Ninn - It's hard for me since I'm not much of a talker or a writer. I actually do talk more now than I ever did, but the writing is not for me. I am afraid to write too much down for fear of someone seeing it, hence some problems here too. But also because it is easier for me to write and that get's tricky when it can very easily touch a nerve and bring out some stuff. I know the logic is not correct but it is what it is for me. I used to write alot but then got stuck with writing things down and not having anywhere to go with it. I cannot sit and wait for my t to read it and then I feel so uncomfortable about her reading it. It is horrendous for me really. I also know that keeping the stuff bottled up isn't good for me but I'm a big scaredy cat when it comes to anyone really knowing me or my thoughts and feelings. I was going to ask for another appointment and felt bad about it. So I didn't ask.

Hi Smiley,
I just wanted to chime in and say it's perfectly understandable that you're upset. There's something very unsettling about a cancellation and two in a row is really brutal. And it's ok to both recognize how understandable your T's reasons for cancelling were, AND be able to acknowledge your distress and anger over having to get through this stretch of time on your own.

I have to agree with BG (that's what I'm doing today, just following BG around and agreeing with her. She saves me a lot of typing. ) that this is a really good thing to bring up in session. Therapy is about your feelings and a good T won't take it personally. It's not about making your T feel bad about doing what was necessary, it's about you being able to observe your feelings and reactions and seeing what you can learn about yourself from them. The first time I was even able to express anger to my T was about a cancellation. I remember telling him that it was hard it enough for me to get through this crap without him doing anything to make it harder. The weirdo was absolutely delighted to see me get angry. Ts are a strange breed.

I hope the time goes quickly until your next appointment.

AG

Smiley,

I am sorry...I can imagine how disappointing it is to have two cancelled appts back to back.

I think the best thing you can do for your T right now is be understanding of her needing to cancel and free her of the worry that this may have left you feeling upset. Let her know you understand, that you are sorry for her loss, and you will look forward to seeing her when she is ready to come back to work.

(((Smiley)))

I can really understand why you are upset. I think it is perfectly normal to be upset about missing two sessions in a row and yet still have regard for the very real reasons your T is canceling. I agree with BG and AG about bringing it up. I think it is a really good topic to talk about.

(((hugs)))

I don't think I can bring my own feelings into this with her. I feel so selfish.

Hey there Smiley, I really don't know what to say that could be helpful or comforting, so am sending you some cyber hugs instead. Just to let you know you're being heard.

((((( Smiley )))))

LL

Thanks LL

Awwww smiley, I am so sorry for you. As one who a few years ago was on the receiving end of very legitimate but frequent cancellations, I know how unsettling that can be. Hugs,

starfishy

quote:

I am feeling like I am dependent on our sessions - even when I don't have much going on. I want to be able to go there and just sit with her (him) even if I don't have anything to say. I know that I can do that with her(him) and it's ok. Now it's been over two weeks and everything is bottled up in me.

Hi smiley,

This is why I am on a break from therapy. I felt like I was wasting his time and my money. When I am feeling strong- it's all good, but there are times when it is tough and I mostly have to rely on my self. I wanted to see if I could do it. I do txt T once- about every 2 weeks. We briefly exchange ideas, and for now, that works much of the time- but not all.
Sorry about the personal conflicts in t's schedule that are causing you angst.