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Yes we hate Christmas too for various triggers which I am not going to write about here 
so you are not alone in finding this time of the year so stressful because of your pasts. We absolutely hate the smell of booze and will do anything to stay away from it or be as far away from people who smell of it as we can - it makes us want to throw up. we cant have any decorations in my home for reasons i'm not going into here and try to make this time of the year as christmas - less as possible (i suppose i can do this a bit easier because i dont have children) but being in the shops, food all those other things dont help us at all at this time of the year when its all supposed to be one big jolly time - sorry thats a bit me, me but we wanted you to know you are not the only ones who find it all a bit much at christmas
pingsy xxx
so you are not alone in finding this time of the year so stressful because of your pasts. We absolutely hate the smell of booze and will do anything to stay away from it or be as far away from people who smell of it as we can - it makes us want to throw up. we cant have any decorations in my home for reasons i'm not going into here and try to make this time of the year as christmas - less as possible (i suppose i can do this a bit easier because i dont have children) but being in the shops, food all those other things dont help us at all at this time of the year when its all supposed to be one big jolly time - sorry thats a bit me, me but we wanted you to know you are not the only ones who find it all a bit much at christmaspingsy xxx
You are certainly not alone in dreading this time of the year. The two weeks of christmas and new year are ALWAYS the worst of the year for me too. I just loathe almost everything to do with winter generally; so from October to the end of February I struggle anyway. This being the middle of that period when the days are shortest and the pressure to be happiest are the worst are just awful, and the few days between boxing day and new year probably the worst of the lot.
Family christmases were always more of an ordeal to get through rather than something to look forward to and I guess I've carried that with me ever since.
Contrary to popular belief; I'm not a great fan of drinking too much either. Just a tipple now and then; but the feeling of being 'out of control' isn't one i enjoy at all.
I guess the biggest trigger for me is the change of routine; something that AvPD suffers dislike intently. The tree; the decorations; the cards; the days off work; everywhere shut for two days; all add to feelings of uncertainty and even fear at times. Only once everything is back to 'normal' in January do I start to breathe a sigh of relief that another one is over and done with. They're horrible feelings and i do feel like I'm a bit of an old grump at times and I have to try hard not to let my dislike of it spoil it for others. If I could hibernate for the duration; I would.
I do know you are not alone; nor you Pingsy; there are perhaps more us who find it really tough than we might have thought.
Hang in there fellow suffers; it will soon be done with
Family christmases were always more of an ordeal to get through rather than something to look forward to and I guess I've carried that with me ever since.
Contrary to popular belief; I'm not a great fan of drinking too much either. Just a tipple now and then; but the feeling of being 'out of control' isn't one i enjoy at all.
I guess the biggest trigger for me is the change of routine; something that AvPD suffers dislike intently. The tree; the decorations; the cards; the days off work; everywhere shut for two days; all add to feelings of uncertainty and even fear at times. Only once everything is back to 'normal' in January do I start to breathe a sigh of relief that another one is over and done with. They're horrible feelings and i do feel like I'm a bit of an old grump at times and I have to try hard not to let my dislike of it spoil it for others. If I could hibernate for the duration; I would.
I do know you are not alone; nor you Pingsy; there are perhaps more us who find it really tough than we might have thought.
Hang in there fellow suffers; it will soon be done with
I agree with Poppet. Christmas is just not for me. All the feel good time, all the good vibe films on the TV as for cards...I dont send any to any one and dont get any back but then again I know know one to send them too. just the other day I logged on and saw a few posters talking about giving a card to their T and receving one back... alien to me all that.
All I can do is count the days till the new year and go on a spending spree to cheer myself up. No drink/alco for me as I am 2 years off it. Mind you I will try and do something nice for dinner on christmas day, along with a nice glass off juice.
ND
All I can do is count the days till the new year and go on a spending spree to cheer myself up. No drink/alco for me as I am 2 years off it. Mind you I will try and do something nice for dinner on christmas day, along with a nice glass off juice.
ND
I hate the holidays too. Alcohol definitely triggers me. I suggested to my T after Thanksgiving that they should eradicate ALL holidays and he said I could run for political office on that platform alone. I tend to idealize everyone else's holidays and think everyone else is having a wonderful time and spending the holidays with loved ones and interesting people but that's probably NOT reality.
I'm not terribly religious and so the holidays only feel too commercialized for me. They've lost whatever meaning they had for me.
What I found helpful is just accepting that it sucks for me. That seemed to be a turning point as if I finally stopped fighting that I should feel something I don't. It just is.
It's great that, despite your past, you've been able to make the holidays special for your kids. I haven't been able to do that yet as I've been stuck in the past but I hope to be able to do that moreso in the future.
I'm not terribly religious and so the holidays only feel too commercialized for me. They've lost whatever meaning they had for me.
What I found helpful is just accepting that it sucks for me. That seemed to be a turning point as if I finally stopped fighting that I should feel something I don't. It just is.
It's great that, despite your past, you've been able to make the holidays special for your kids. I haven't been able to do that yet as I've been stuck in the past but I hope to be able to do that moreso in the future.
(((( pingsy)))) so sorry for your memories lovely people.
I'm not good being around people drinking too much, it really scares me. The smell is very scary for me and triggers me quite quickly, especailly if it is coming from a man. I wrongly assume that anyone having a drink will get drunk, lose control and hurt me or someone else...hard one to shift.
Thoughts and hugs to all who struggle with this or Christmas itself
starfishy
I'm not good being around people drinking too much, it really scares me. The smell is very scary for me and triggers me quite quickly, especailly if it is coming from a man. I wrongly assume that anyone having a drink will get drunk, lose control and hurt me or someone else...hard one to shift.
Thoughts and hugs to all who struggle with this or Christmas itself
starfishy
It makes me sad to think of you guys having such a hard time coping with the Christmas season 
. Even more so as for me it's the complete opposite, Christmas was the one time of the year in my past that was good. It can't imagine what it must be like to have such a potentially lovely and joyous time tainted and destroyed forever by the actions of those who should have known better.
I hope for everyone on this thread who struggles with Christmas that there comes a day when you are healed enough that you can find some joy and peace in the beauty of Christmas, untainted anymore by bad memories and an evil past.
Hugs to you all
LL
I hope for everyone on this thread who struggles with Christmas that there comes a day when you are healed enough that you can find some joy and peace in the beauty of Christmas, untainted anymore by bad memories and an evil past.
Hugs to you all
LL
quote:round two tonight and then thank goodness it will all be over, i will be relieved.
You and me both!
quote:round two tonight and then thank goodness it will all be over, i will be relieved.
Make that 3 of us!
Hugs to everyone who struggles during the holidays.
TN
I've had enough of all the hype too. I'm going
to hide away in bed until the morning.
to hide away in bed until the morning.
Don't cry. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Staying up late. Drinking. Dancing. Blowing horns. Who needs it?
What do they do over there in the UK? Here we watch the stupid crystal ball come down a big pole. (sorry waterford). I've never really gotten that one.
What do they do over there in the UK? Here we watch the stupid crystal ball come down a big pole. (sorry waterford). I've never really gotten that one.
(((( Poppet ))))) It's okay. You tried and were very brave about it. I admire you for that.
I had an email from my T today because I wrote him that New Years is very scary for me (not sure just why) and he reminded me of all my accomplishments and told me to focus on the bond and attachment we have forged this year.
So... I want to remind you of all the good things you have accomplished this year and to focus on the good things and on the T relationship.
Love to you
TN
I had an email from my T today because I wrote him that New Years is very scary for me (not sure just why) and he reminded me of all my accomplishments and told me to focus on the bond and attachment we have forged this year.
So... I want to remind you of all the good things you have accomplished this year and to focus on the good things and on the T relationship.
Love to you
TN
((((Poppet)))) and ((((others)))) I loathe it also and usually stay home alone, walk boydog, cook us a roast and, sorry people, drink too much to dull feelings!!!
It saddens me that so many of you feel the same. xx
It saddens me that so many of you feel the same. xx