quote:

Originally posted by Lady of Shallot:
Fellow Travellers

Can I start a discussion on co-dependency please? How it relates to boundaries, attachment, transference...how you have no existence in your own right as a child and perceive yourself as existing only in relation to the other's needs (father in my case) so as an adult you can't identify your needs or ask to have them met because that selfish and greedy....

Lady

Yes do do do

I have been questioning my relationship with my therapist

I feel we are too friendly. We seem to be a lot a like. That worries me, because I want her to be in my real life. However if we didn't have sort of a friendly atmosphere going on I don't think I would feel comfortable enough to open up..

I am very attached to my therapist. The adult part of me or perhaps the kid part of me that was abused worries that perhaps my therapist might take advantage of that power. Like I wander what her intentions are ... if she really trying to help me or does she just enjoy hearing my pathetic life story... Or does she like me.. ect. I also worry that she is pushing her beliefs on me... Pretty much I am trying to protect myself , but also love the feeling of the attachment.

I have asked my therapist about how to deal with transference and boundries ect and she never gives me answers. I wander if it is because she wants me to set up my own.... or if she just isn't doing her part in our relationship. I put a lot of trust and faith in her to help set these boundaries up, because I never really had any growing up.

I also wander what appropriate boundries when it comes to this. My therapist gives me hugs and I feel I am starved for that, but also it makes me want more and more and I wander if its healing or hurting me sometimes emotionally. I guess I should only ask for a hug when I really want one. But it makes me feel pathetic and needy when I ask for one!

I do feel selfish and greedy for wanting all this attention now, because I am a grown woman. But I am like a small lost child inside. Its hard, because most people have no idea what is going on inside. And unless they have been through this they would never know!!

I often worry too that perhaps being "addicted" to my therapist is just as bad as being addicted to a drug or something.

I worry a lot!! hehe... I have a lot of shame when it comes to this...

I like this thread..

i've also been wondering about my need to please. and yes Transferencegrl85, i am also feeling very ashamed about being so spineless!

even more ashamed about who i think i really might be. not a decent person at all. i can see in my head that's not the case but it's how i do feel. i guess under those circumstance letting the real me out of the cage feels like inviting rejection or worse.

i've also been trying to appear

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as small possible and constantly thinking ahead of how to avoid getting into trouble

whilst at the same time wanting to be a rebel. how impossible is that!

SB