Hi TAS

that was an interesting reaction you had to T's
object and I've no idea why it happened that
way for you.
I've never desired T to give me an object like
that I'll admit. All I've wanted was a photo
to look at between sessions which I downloaded
and a copy of her book which I purchased. However
she did surprise me with a very small gift from
her last holiday which I do treasure.
Maybe you will grow to like it??

((((TAS))))

If my T had given me a transitional object before I wanted one, I probably would have had the same reaction that you did. Like giving a gift to someone when it doesn't really have meaning for that person.
Also, for me, I would have felt like he's telling me how to feel in a way, that this is the thing - and not the second session - that would help me hold onto an image of him and feel connected to him when we are not together.

BUT, it was incredibly thoughtful of him to do that and he is a bit endearing at times even if frustrating at others.

in the questions about content on myshrink and/or being in therapy...contact between therapy sessions started by turtle

quote:

Makes me think that I am interested in what I can not have.

TAS, this is what it sounds like. from where i sit in my comfortable bed far removed from what you're dealing with, i think that no matter what your T provides it will never be good enough. it WOULD be interesting to see what your feelings would be if he were to agree to the twice-weekly sessions. would that do it for you? or would it open up another want or need? would it ever be as much as you need? this isn't just aimed toward you, but to all of us. what if we got what we thought we neeeded from our Ts, but found that it wasnt' "enough"? what then? i'm sorry if i'm being a bitch. these are honest ponderings of mine, and if i'm trespassing on you stuff i truly apologize. i'm just curious what other folks think ...

maybe ultimately it all has to come from within...

It is interesting. My T gave me a pen a few weeks ago and I felt so good.
I never would have been brave enough to ask for sometihing, but I had read here about others having and it helping.
Strangely after that initial Wow, I put the penin my bag and have forgotten about it. It is there so it is with me all the time, but I have not looked at it or used it since.
Maybe it is the idea of having something is more appealing than the reality.
However maybe I will appreciate it more later in the summer when she has her baby and is away for 5 weeks and that is all I have.
Maybe it was a disappointment because you see it as instead of the second appointment, which is what you really wanted.
But I do think it is a slight change on his part, is he beginning to understand that you do need some kind of connection with him between sessions?

Hi Tas,

Sorry to jump in from out of nowhere - I've been around for a while but I don't post very often. I'm wondering if your reaction might be something to do with what they call disorganised attachment. Other people can describe this better than me, but basically, if we grow up with caregivers who hurt us, we end up with some very mixed reactions to closeness. When we want to be close to someone we also want to push away from them at the same time. Little kids with disorganised attachment will want to come up to their caregivers back-first, or they'll come up only to hit. Your staring reminds me a bit of this - especially the "I ain't a baby" part. You felt the desire to have something of him, but when you have it there, you want to move far far away. It's interesting that you don't want to disconnect- you still want to see the thing he gave you - maybe you just want to see it from a safe distance. I wonder if that's a little bit how you feel about the rest of therapy too - that you want to approach it, but from a very safe distance?

Best,
Jones