Hello-

welcome here.. yay a new person

I think it's great that you are considering therapy because hey, it's good to have the insight and thought that maybe I have an issue here.

In terms of your friend, I do believe that friends should tell friends the truth but sometimes it's the way we put things that can be hard. WHat you said could very well be true but she could also not be ready to hear that. That happens in therapy all of the time and this isn't even a theraputic situation.. at least not a professional one!

Possibly, you can go to her and applogize or even write her a letter telling her why you said that, thought that.. and I do think you framed it in an honest way.. you may not like this... you said all of these things.... but she didn't like it maybe because it hit to close to home.. it made her feel blamed somehow.... she wasn't ready... it wasn't gentle..maybe she wanted more comfort....

who really knows??

Obviously, you don't feel like you were brutal and you probably weren't but with human interaction, it is always difficult.

Maybe let her cool down awhile and try to talk to her more about it or i dont know... .let's see what others say here...

Hi kvilter, welcome. Boy, that's toughie. I think it's great that you took a risk to reach for your friend. Many people might have had a different reaction. They might have been hurt too, but willing to look at it and to thank-you for risking to say this. Another person might have more open and asked more questions about how you arrived at this.

Whether she was ready to hear or not, I don't think is your responsibility for how she reacted. We can't help but hurt people if we want honesty in our relationships. It's true as Butterfly Warrior says that some people might not be ready to hear, but then we can never know for sure when that time is. Even therapists have a hard time pinpointing that down.

Maybe, as Butterfly Warrior says, that when she cools down she will be open to hearing you say it wasn't your intention to hurt her and you hope you can still be friends.

Glad to hear you're thinking of therapy.

Take care,
Shrinklady