Hi CD,

Seems like we are on the same wavelength today! I just posted to the SI forum talking about this very thing ("Attachment cry.."). Feel free to take a look at what I wrote.

I'll have to look through my articles. Jon Allen has written some on this, as has Schore (he is too heady for me but is the attachment guy). Of course there is Bowlby and Ainsworth, but I'd see if you can find someone more current who has built on their amazing original work.

Hope to hear from you on my other post!

Same wavelength here, too! Two weeks ago Therapist used these words, 'core wounds.' We were addressing attachment and how I contunually feel he doesn't want me.

I cringed when he said those words. Tough work. I want to run, too, CD. Will you go back to the same Therapist or see someone different?

I am glad you are considering going back! Rock on CD

CD, I'm wondering too: (When) will you go back? I read your posts and think "Stay tuned...to see if next week, CD returns to her T..."

Sorry--I don't mean to be flip about it. I'm just...hoping, for you.

RabbitEars

CD,

Core attachment injury is kind of like the source, or root of our attachment wound/s. Where it all began so to speak.It's an injury to our true self, to our essence and goes back to our earliest attachment to our primary caregivers. There really isn't alot of info out there that I have found either.
This kind of injury usually involves deep/total therapy, and it's intense to say the least.

Not usually direct memories so to speak, but certainly a multitude of repressed feelings that can be very regressive, and chaotic at times.The feelings run deep, to the core of our identity.

I'm still a bit in the vortex of this very thing, so I'm perhaps not too objective at the moment. I do know that others here have gone through this and hopefully they can give you more perspective. What I can say is I chose to do this deep therapy, and it's been grueling at times, but recently, I have had moments of peace that I have never known in my life, so for me personally, it still hurts, but it's been worth it.



blu

Is recovery possible? Or is this one of those things where therapy just gets you to a place that is good enough so that you cope?

thanks for the references, Amber. i've read your two posts on the SI forum and need to digest for a bit. very interesting stuff. thanks again for responding ... and

TAS, same here. i still think he was pleased that i ditched, and i imagine he'll be bummed should i ever return. and yes, it would be him and no other! there is no way i could start all over with somebody else. he is the only single person that knows as much about me as he does. somebody asked me somewhere if i'd consider going to a female. again, no way. not now, anyway. there's enough on my plate for now, and a female therapist would bring to the fore a whole new set of problems. at least i have that much figured out!

RE, you're sweet. i don't see you as being flip. thanks for your positive vibes.

blu! thanks for the information. i know i never felt attached to either parent. i didn't know that's what the 'core' part was referring to. and yes, it most definitely has caused injury to my true self. and quite honestly, i find that deeply shameful. i am 51 and i don't even know myself and i find this disturbing. therapy is very difficult and i think this is such a huge reason why. T leaves all this space for ME and i don't know what to do with it all! it is very, very terrifying and uncomfortable and awkward and i feel so small in all of the space he gives me. i once wrote in a journal that it feels like i'm a prisoner on the lam and he is the prison guard with the big spot light steadied on me. verrrry uncomfortable feeling. the good thing is, he never abandoned me in that space. he always stayed right there with me. i guess i never really thought about that until now. he's a pretty special person to me.

i'm not exactly thrilled to hear that such deep therapy is the best treatment. scary stuff that it is. ugh. it is good to hear you say how it can be regressive and chaotic at times ... he was saying the same things shortly before i dashed. i guess i got a little scared. thanks again for your response, it was very helpful

(((River))) i guess i'd like to hear others' experiences on that. i am able to cope, but i'm not happy. i'd like to at least get to a point where i feel somewhat hopeful about my future, and a glimmer of happiness would be welcome, too.

CD...I just said that very thing to the Therapist the other day...I would not see anyone else so if I couldn't make it with him...there was no one else...and I am good with that...

Also, I specifically avoided female Therapists when I was looking for a Therapist...for the very same reasons...however, I am discovering some of those very issues are coming up with a male T which is leaving me baffled. For instance, I had a dream with him in it...and in his pocked were a pack of a certain brand of cigarettes (female abuser smoked those).

You want to know something else weird? He is from the state of the male abuser and his wife is from the state of the female abuser...ugh. I don't know how i managed that...I try not to focus on that...UGH.

(Sorry, went on a little tangent)

I hope you go back...did you have a formal good-bye with him or did you just stop going because it got to be too overwhelming?

All the best
T.

(((TAS))) yes, some of the same issues come up whether male or female. but, one thing at a time. because a female T will most likely bring up male issues as well. it really is weird shit. :P one thing at a time. too overwhelming otherwise.

all that stuff is wierd but inconsequential. it must be hard not to think about it, though. my best advise would be to talk with your T about the similarities if you haven't already.

it was a semi-formal good-bye. it sucked to say the least. one of the main reasons i quit was that it WAS becoming too overwhelming. see the "prisoner on the lam" analogy i made above. that's exactly what it felt like. T had nothing to do with it, it is my own stuff. i'll be back to see him, if he will see me.

thanks for your encouragement, it means alot!!