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Great question RT. Very interesting!
Ive never heard that term before.
Ive never heard that term before.
My T never talks about it - I don't think the word has ever been mentioned. My T does say how she feels - in terms of saying she cares for me, respects me, thinking of me - nothing closer than that. sometimes she send me a photo and says 'i just saw these flowers/trees (whatever) and thought of you" - but this is not about her - it is her way of making me feel that she cares and it is basically a psych ploy to keep the connection. She has done a lot of things to show she cares and that we have a special relationship - but I don't think T would verbalise it too much, firstly because it would trigger me.
I do ask T how she feels about something and she answers - but a lot of the time she will firstly ask 'why is it important that you know". And I then have to justify why I am asking something.
Somedays
I do ask T how she feels about something and she answers - but a lot of the time she will firstly ask 'why is it important that you know". And I then have to justify why I am asking something.
Somedays
T2 had a huge problem with countertransference which ultimately ended in disaster.
Neither of my T's discuss it specifically by name, but will say when it's "their stuff". T1 rarely has noticeable issues controlling her CT she is always the same.
My Ts have told me how they feel about me, or a situation, or something I'm talking about. In general I believe if I asked what they were feeling, if they thought it was beneficial to disclose they would or turn it around. My experience with both of my therapists was their genuine expression many time - more in the recent year than the prior 2.
As far as what she feels about other things, yea... I ask or ask an open ended question and I'll get a bit back but they aren't open with me in a way that is inappropriate (T2 was though, at some points). I know an appropriate amount about them, the same I know about other professionals I see but don't know personally as far as things not involving me go..
Some types of therapy really focus on the genuine nature of the therapist. T1, when working with me, seems very relationally focused and is (and has called herself) a 'what you see is what you get' kind of person. Other Ts like that blank slate stuff. I can create more than enough transference w/o a blank slate to keep us busy.
Why do you wonder, RT?
Neither of my T's discuss it specifically by name, but will say when it's "their stuff". T1 rarely has noticeable issues controlling her CT she is always the same.
My Ts have told me how they feel about me, or a situation, or something I'm talking about. In general I believe if I asked what they were feeling, if they thought it was beneficial to disclose they would or turn it around. My experience with both of my therapists was their genuine expression many time - more in the recent year than the prior 2.
As far as what she feels about other things, yea... I ask or ask an open ended question and I'll get a bit back but they aren't open with me in a way that is inappropriate (T2 was though, at some points). I know an appropriate amount about them, the same I know about other professionals I see but don't know personally as far as things not involving me go..
Some types of therapy really focus on the genuine nature of the therapist. T1, when working with me, seems very relationally focused and is (and has called herself) a 'what you see is what you get' kind of person. Other Ts like that blank slate stuff. I can create more than enough transference w/o a blank slate to keep us busy.
Why do you wonder, RT?
My T never uses that term but she does talk about how she feels a little bit.
I figured out that she is pretty sensitive. It helps me know how to work with her.
I figured out that she is pretty sensitive. It helps me know how to work with her.
I think my T has only mentioned that specific word once or twice and both times was to explain why he had seemed about to say something and then held back, because he thought his own stuff was coming in there.
He frequently tells me how he feels about me, and the work me do, but he couldn't probably help it, considering the frequently expressed fear that I'm a burden, he hates me, my own transference and projection issues. He is not blank-slate guy at all.
I know plenty about his personal life and his experiences in general. When he shares, it is always related to my own experiences and his understanding of/relating to them...or else, sometimes just things we share interests in (like music and sports). He is very human and humble and it makes me feel safe. But, he does draw boundaries and will say when he doesn't think it's a good idea to share something or when his T response has to be different than maybe his automatic, human response would be (I guess a caretaking counter-transference is the only example I can think of here).
We probably have gotten too close, according to what some people in the profession would think. Sometimes I worry about it, that it means I've been bad. Other times, I know that this is the safest I've ever felt being seen and known and knowing someone else, loving and being loved (at least outside of my marriage, which is a different sort of relationship).
He frequently tells me how he feels about me, and the work me do, but he couldn't probably help it, considering the frequently expressed fear that I'm a burden, he hates me, my own transference and projection issues. He is not blank-slate guy at all.
I know plenty about his personal life and his experiences in general. When he shares, it is always related to my own experiences and his understanding of/relating to them...or else, sometimes just things we share interests in (like music and sports). He is very human and humble and it makes me feel safe. But, he does draw boundaries and will say when he doesn't think it's a good idea to share something or when his T response has to be different than maybe his automatic, human response would be (I guess a caretaking counter-transference is the only example I can think of here).
We probably have gotten too close, according to what some people in the profession would think. Sometimes I worry about it, that it means I've been bad. Other times, I know that this is the safest I've ever felt being seen and known and knowing someone else, loving and being loved (at least outside of my marriage, which is a different sort of relationship).
This is definitely been an area where my T has shifted in his approach with me. I am prone to asking him a lot of questions, particularly "why" questions, and he used to deflect and try to just get me to go deeper and actually try to feel and say whatever.
But he's not as quick to do this lately, and one day I asked him what his countertransference was. I fully expected him to block that question, but he told me that on one particular issue -- ongoing complications with my ex -- he had no problem telling me that he felt very protective of me.
His care is very apparent, although I don't think it's particularly explicit, and as our work progresses, even though he doesn't share personal details, I do feel that I know him. It's definitely different than how I would know a friend though.
But he's not as quick to do this lately, and one day I asked him what his countertransference was. I fully expected him to block that question, but he told me that on one particular issue -- ongoing complications with my ex -- he had no problem telling me that he felt very protective of me.
His care is very apparent, although I don't think it's particularly explicit, and as our work progresses, even though he doesn't share personal details, I do feel that I know him. It's definitely different than how I would know a friend though.