I usually sink into a slump when T is away, especially if I am on vacation too which gives me more time to think. Don't hesitate to contact T since this is allowed and see if he has any coping strategies for you, or maybe the contact will help.

I often start reevaluating the therapy process during these breaks. Usually by the day or two before I see her again I know for a fact that I am never going back because either I feel don't need her anymore or I don't want to go through another long painful break. So far I have always gone back and for the most part haven't regretted it.

I totally understand what you're saying, Anna. While it may not be of too great a comfort now, please believe me when I say these types of feelings / thoughts WILL lessen. During the early months of therapy, it would take me two, three and sometimes four days to get my equilibrium back. I used to feel flooded with everything and literally hid under the covers. That was my safety zone. No amount of self talk about whether I should be going to the gym or going for walks or doing anything else after an appt would get me to do them. But that's perfectly ok and normal. If you think of it, your mind and your body are doing some major processing - that takes enormous amounts of energy that you'd otherwise be using at the gym or on walks. For that reason, be gentle and treat yourself to something you wouldn't normally do.

I still sometimes think "what sane person knowingly puts themselves thru this kind of stuff anyway?!??" The answer is someone who wants things to eventually be better.

Not sure if this helps or not but please know I empathize and sympathize with what you're going thru right now. And, please keep posting.

The Kid

Thanks for your replies.

I am thankful he allowed me to check inn, on his holiday, But I can’t make a sessions though e-mail, it’s just to say I am alive or something I don’t know what he can do and I don’t think it’s fair from me to ask him anything while he is on holiday .

I just am little disappointed after being ok in past few months and finally feeling ok more often than not, I was hoping that this summer I would be ok, and I have tried so hard to be ok, but I am getting really tired .
I have no support around me and my family is kindly well let’s say dysfunctional, and I feeling a lot of pressure from them, and that is one of the things I am finally breaking free from. But is just getting harder to keep my boundaries to them... I am just getting tired ..

„The Kid“I know what you are feeling I was feeling like this first when I started therapy,
I am dealing with now is that I am feeling bad when I am not in therapy or seeing him for few weeks, and that is what is bothering me allot, and I don’t like this feeling very much, I don’t like I need someone,
it’s so strange I get this extra energy after seeing my T, I have motivation to do thinks like going to the gym , its seems now SO hard , and steps to go there are just too hard , I know I should be able to go and stop this thought but my anxiety is so much barrier ..

Sorry...

quote:

Sorry...

no problem,,, thanks for your reply