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6 replies

Creepy Pizza Guy-- feeling a bit anxious

heldincompassionheldincompassionMember
So, I had just returned home from some evening Christmas shopping when, about fifteen minutes later, a Domino's delivery vehicle pulled into my driveway. I hadn't ordered any pizza, and I thought maybe they were just using my driveway to turn around, when I noticed from the window someone walking towards my door.

It was after dark and my porch light is broken, so I thought about just not answering, then I figured I might as well tell the delivery person that they had the wrong house. . . and also it occurred to me that a friend may have anonymously ordered me pizza, in which case I wouldn't want to miss out. Smiler

I opened the door and this middle aged unsmiling guy is standing there on my dark porch. . . without any pizza. I guess I'm a bit jumpy but I admit I felt a little nervous. I just said, "Hey, I think you have the wrong house."

"I know," he said defiantly, almost hostile. "I know I have the wrong house, but this is 213 and the next house is 217. I have to deliver to 215. I was wondering if you knew anything about that." He sounded quite frustrated.

I was kind of puzzled. I mean, why complain to me? I'm not the post office. And surely he should have called whoever ordered to say he couldn't find their house, instead of knocking on random doors in the neighborhood? But maybe he had tried that and no one had answered the phone. I just shrugged and said, "I don't know."

"Okay, well I'm sorry. I just thought you might know something. Sorry to have bothered you." His voice was even more hostile this time, but I hate to think I've offended anybody, so I said, rather concerned, "I didn't mean to be rude! It's just that I don't know."

He said okay, and that he was sorry for seeming to take it that way, and then he left.

I was already feeling nervous before this happened, because being around Christmas crowds and traffic tends to trigger anxiety for me, but now I'm even more so. Does this seem weird to anyone else? It gave me a funny feeling, but maybe I'm crazy, is all. Perhaps I should not have answered the door?

I know this is a fairly trivial event, but I'd be interested in hearing how some of you would have handled it, what you would have said differently, or what you think. This is the kind of thing my anxiety and obsessive tendencies can have a field day with. Roll Eyes
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kashleykashleyMember
(((HIC)))

I would be pretty unsettled by that, too. It seems like the guy was just very frustrated and projecting his anger onto you, unfortunately. Frowner But that doesn't change the fact that it was distressing. I had a solicitor come to my door a few weeks ago who was very nice, actually. I listened to his spiel and told him I wasn't interested, etc. Anyway, he was very cordial about it and left, and I shut my door and locked it. And less than a minute later I realized I was shaking. There shouldn't have been anything triggering, but I think just having an unexpected stranger at my door was unsettling.

Anyway, I think you handled the situation the best you could, but it's always okay to just not answer the door if you feel uncomfortable about it. Do whatever you need to do to stay safe.

(((hugs)))
heldincompassionheldincompassionMember
Thanks for the understanding reply, Kashley. I think you are right that he was just frustrated and projecting, although for a bit I was wondering if he was a criminal of some kind who had stolen a Domino's sign and was "casing" my house.

I've just been trying to puzzle out why my reaction has been so extreme. For awhile I was shaky, feeling sick, on the verge of tears, etc. I think it was a combination of getting a little scared, on top of already being anxious, and then having anger very unexpectedly directed at me. And then, of course, I start fretting over whether I was inadvertently ill mannered, over whether I was stupid to answer the door, over whether I'm stupid to care about this incident at all, etc., which just made my anxiety worse.

Ah well, another day in the life. . .
Attachment GirlAttachment GirlAdmin
HIC,
I'm really sorry, I think it's perfectly understandable this scared you. I want to share with you an odd tidbit I heard (not sure how true it is as I heard it third hand, but it made sense). When they talk to rape victims, one of the most common statements is that they had a "weird" feeling about the guy, but thought they were overreacting or being paranoid. Experts in self defense will tell you NOT to ignore when your radar goes off. If you're right, then it helps to keep you safe. If you're wrong, no harm. And any well-intentioned person will understand your caution.

As far as your reaction, I react that way to a man getting angry at me because of my father. I am immediately thrown back into feeling threatened and powerless and tend to have a flight reaction. It sounds like the situation was really triggering for you probably on a number of levels. I hope you're feeling better now.

AG
True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
Hi HIC... well maybe I'm super paranoid but I would never have opened the door at all. I would have spoken to him through the door or a window. I never open the door for anyone I don't know.

Aside from that if I was really feeling suspicious I would have called the local Dominoes and asked them about this guy and the delivery address.

I think he sounded like he was just tired and frazzled from working and annoyed that he could not find the address. It's very possible that the person taking the order wrote down the wrong house number. I'm glad you are okay.

TN
heldincompassionheldincompassionMember
Hi AG,
Thanks for understanding and helping to "normalize" my reaction. I was starting to feel silly for having posted this at all, and for being as rattled as I was by the experience. Perhaps it did trigger some things from the past, being yelled at by my father accompanied by (admittedly mild, but still) physical abuse when I was young.

I am feeling better now, but I will keep your advice in mind and be a little extra watchful the next few days, just in case. As you say, if I'm wrong, no harm done.

TN,
Thanks for replying and sharing your take on things. In hindsight, I agree that I would have been much better off not opening the door-- to avoid the after anxiety even if not for safety reasons. Smiler It's probably good policy in general. . .
blackbirdblackbirdMember
Hi, HIC...I don't think you overreacted at all. That would have thrown anyone, especially since the guy was angry. fwiw, I think it probably makes sense that if he was angry and annoyed, it is likely that he really couldn't find the right house. Still, I'd call the dominoes and ask about it, just to get peace of mind!

I remember once, a guy I saw on the street flipped out, and yelled at these people who were driving by. For some reason I confronted him on his anger, pretty aggressively, which is not like me at all. I have no idea why I did that, it was disturbing. He told me to mind my own business. I spent the *rest* of the day, weeping uncontrollably, off and on. It was a weird experience. Very weird. My H couldn't figure out what was wrong with me! So...was that overreaction, or bad a trigger, that I didn't remember, wasn't aware of? don't judge yourself, Hic...it's all a part of the human condition. You didn't do anything that warrants the level of judgement you are giving yourself. You reacted *normally* to an abnormal situaton.

Be kind and gentle to you right now.

Love,

Beebs

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