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(((Wally)))
Ouch how painful and confusing. I am running out of time and need to get back to work but I wanted to give you some support. This sounds like not only boundary crossing but abusive in away. I hope you will seek help from another T who can help you get through this. I know you love her and I am sure she is a wonderful person but your therapy is about you getting better and not her needs. You deserve to have a T who can hold their boundaries with you.
Ouch how painful and confusing. I am running out of time and need to get back to work but I wanted to give you some support. This sounds like not only boundary crossing but abusive in away. I hope you will seek help from another T who can help you get through this. I know you love her and I am sure she is a wonderful person but your therapy is about you getting better and not her needs. You deserve to have a T who can hold their boundaries with you.
Sorry. I think my original post is confusing. I meant to say that I have had five sessions since what was supposed to be my last session. The five sessions since have been about trying to repair the damage done by her offering friendship and then taking back the offer.
and she's been very helpful and wants to do whatever it takes to repair the damage but I'm not sure what else she can do or maybe this is just going to take longer to work through than I thoughtquote:Originally posted by wally:
Sorry. I think my original post is confusing. I meant to say that I have had five sessions since what was supposed to be my last session. The five sessions since have been about trying to repair the damage done by her offering friendship and then taking back the offer.
Okay thanks for explaining Wally. I guess it is best if you can repair it with her. You may need to go on and see a different T as well.
I saw a T for 3 years and eventually terminated with her because we would talk like friends when we met. I mean it wasn't totally like friends in that she didn't speak a whole lot about her self but we chit chatted a lot. Plus she would not allow me to talk much about my past etc. So I decided to find a new T. However she and I are still in contact. We talk on the phone every couple of weeks. She tells me about her life and I tell her about mine. Gradually over time she is telling me more and more about herself. I also call her sometimes when I am in insurmountable pain like when my last T dumped me via email. She called her a Beyotch. I must say that was soothing to me. I know for a fact that I would not be able to do this had there been a lot of transference going on for me with her. Because there was not much transference I am able to do this. It is a rare and odd opportunity. I thought it would crash into a puddle of mud but it's turned out to be okay.
I think Ts grow to love us a little too much sometimes. I mean they are supposed to keep this sort of objectivity and I think when they meet a client who would otherwise be someone who they'd love to have as a friend then the relationship gets to be more of a challenge for them. They are human. I always thought I wanted all my Ts to become friends but after what I went through with this T I realize that friends are friends and Ts are Ts. I no longer see her as a T and I still very much so need a T. I think I get what your T is getting at Wally. It is true that if she becomes your friend she can never be your T again. Sorry this is so long. I am procrastinating.
I saw a T for 3 years and eventually terminated with her because we would talk like friends when we met. I mean it wasn't totally like friends in that she didn't speak a whole lot about her self but we chit chatted a lot. Plus she would not allow me to talk much about my past etc. So I decided to find a new T. However she and I are still in contact. We talk on the phone every couple of weeks. She tells me about her life and I tell her about mine. Gradually over time she is telling me more and more about herself. I also call her sometimes when I am in insurmountable pain like when my last T dumped me via email. She called her a Beyotch. I must say that was soothing to me. I know for a fact that I would not be able to do this had there been a lot of transference going on for me with her. Because there was not much transference I am able to do this. It is a rare and odd opportunity. I thought it would crash into a puddle of mud but it's turned out to be okay.
I think Ts grow to love us a little too much sometimes. I mean they are supposed to keep this sort of objectivity and I think when they meet a client who would otherwise be someone who they'd love to have as a friend then the relationship gets to be more of a challenge for them. They are human. I always thought I wanted all my Ts to become friends but after what I went through with this T I realize that friends are friends and Ts are Ts. I no longer see her as a T and I still very much so need a T. I think I get what your T is getting at Wally. It is true that if she becomes your friend she can never be your T again. Sorry this is so long. I am procrastinating.