Mine was not once or twice - but I think pain is pain; it's an awful thing to have happen and I'm sorry it happened to you. The long term effects are different for everyone whether it was everyday for a lifetime or once. Trauma is individual. Some websites online have lists of symptoms - PTSD, anxiety, depression, dissociation, trust; sexual and intimacy issues - things people get from other trauma too. I don't think there is any one specific reaction to CSA.

I've disclosed something recently (a week now) and it's gotten worse - way worse right now - I'm struggling. What my Ts say is yes, it is worse at first because you are acknowledging the experience as real and relationally with your T it can feel like an adjustment (relationally - it has been for me). Would imagine it gets easier to work through with time.

To put it in perspective, would you wonder if an adult who was raped once would be affected? The severity of long term effects actually depends on a number of factors: age when the abuse occurred, the relationship to the abuser, if anyone was told and got the child help, and how swiftly that happened, as well as the makeup and personality of the child. But yes, I wouldn't say it's inevitable that there would be long term effects, but would not be at all surprised that there are.

Like Cat, I'm also sorry this happened to you. I think its important to talk about especially since its on your mind.

Thank you, Cat and AG!
I was 9. He was a stranger that I thought was a friend. I had to protect my sister, who I was watching at the time. I told my lil sis the secret and she told my parents. I was brought into identify the guy and that was the end of the story pretty much. My parents asked me questions about what happened and recorded it just in case of a court hearing. I put it away in my head and my parents never got help for me.
I thought I would forget about it. I explained a lot of the story to T during one session a long time ago, but couldn't remember certain things. I could see visuals as I was talking about it, but I had no feelings. Now, I'm getting feelings along with the little visual snippets. Strange.

I talked about it. I teared up a bit in session and then she gave me a few extra minutes of her time in order to bring me back (grounding?).
As soon as I started driving home though tears kept welling up in my eyes and making it hard to see. I got home ok. I can't stop crying....

ugh...woke up at 3:30AM crying too. I had a bad dream and couldn't get back to sleep.
I wish I had more time with T or something. I'm not quite sure what to do. I had some other crappy thing happen this AM too. I am not liking men right now. Just in a sad mood...I haven't been this down since the winter.

I hear your pain Athenacus. Its okay to acknowledge the pain that you suffered finally. It sounds like you just discounted and didn't give it a voice all these years. Now that you are finally letting it have a voice, you are feeling the sadness that is rightfully yours to feel. While it sucks to go through it, I hope you can view it as a necessary component of your healing. But I encourage you to keep talking to T about it. Don't let it fester any longer. Sending you positive thoughts and a cyber hug.

Athenacus, after years of seeing my T off and on I told her about something that happened to me when I was aroung 10 or 11. It happened three times with a neighbor man. I repeatedly told her that I didn't think it had any long term affects on me. I think she thought otherwise but didn't say so. Well last weekend, my SO and I had an incident that resulted in an arguement. He said exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time and I completely exploded on him. I'm not going to get into specifics, but he was completely dumbfounded by my reaction. He stormed off and when I tracked him down, I explained what had happened to me long ago. Bad idea on my part. My telling has put us in an uncomfortable place. This is probably why I never told anyone up until this point of my life. Never told my parents. I just knew it would make things worse. I thought I would eventually forget about it but you never do. I honestly thought it had nothing to do with how I am now, but I am beginning to think otherwise.

I am so sorry that happened to you also. My god, how many people has this affected. It just boggles the mind. It's hard to wrap your head around all the hurt and painful feelings. Hang in there and take care.