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Awhile back my T talked with me about gratitude and healing. At the time I was in quite a dark place and couldn't feel gratitude for anything. How could I be grateful when I was mad at even existing?

So...the subject came up again with my good friend who has stuck by me through the years and my journey. She reminded me of myself - the self that does have a core of compassion for others and the world and my ability over the 11 years she's known me to always find that which I can be grateful for.

We talked about how the extreme grief I've been in my my grandmothers death has really overcome all other feelings, and that it is ok. She said she knows the real me and finds my courage to continue with my journey a gift to myself, her and the world. She went through similar work years ago and continues to assure me that it gets better. She is a wonderful person and definitely provides me with hope.

So anyway, I have been feeling gratitude again and have started a daily gratitude journal to keep me focused on the good in life and not always the bad.

I'm curious as to what things you all have gratitude for? Today I have gratitude for a customer service clerk at our impound lot. While I was out of town this week, a police officer showed up at my house with a tow-truck and took my RV that had been parked there for 3 years. My awesome neighbor called me to let me know what was occurring and she got all the paperwork for me. When I returned home yesterday I went to claim it at the impound lot and this woman went completely out of her way to not only help me get my RV released, but she even came out into the muddy lot and helped me find boulders to build up enough room under the jack to help me get it up high enough to hitch to my vehicle. She was the silver lining in the hassle if this experience. I am grateful for kind, helpful people that still exist in customer service ~ she definitely made a hassling situation much more easy than it could have been.

What are you grateful for?
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I really enjoyed reading about your experience with your friend. Somehow we will all have more to give back for having been through these experiences/dark places/extreme grief.

Glad you got your RV back!

Tomorrow - treating myself to a 3 hr yoga class/new year's celebration with champagne, etc. Glad that I'm able to go, to take care of myself, to get out of the house, as my default would be to stay at home.

Also, saw my ex today. (as a friend), and he will always be dear to me in some ways. There are many who are not as lucky in that regard. Not just civility, but kindness, gentleness, and respect are still possible under unexpected circumstances.

Thanks for posting this! Grateful that I have a place to post (and listen/read) as I'm going through a tough time as well.

OK, that's 3 things.
Hmm. Good question here. I looked at this the other day but I wasn't sure. Not good news. But come to think of it:

I'm grateful for my family in America who love me. Grateful that I have my own mind to work through things. I contemplate and think an awful lot. Sometimes its not good but a lot of the time, I've found balance in dark places.

Grateful to have a friend who is there for me and grateful for the room I have.

Grateful for my health.

Grateful for this forum!
FMN,

I'll join you in being grateful for the forum today, if that's okay! Smiler No one in my real life could begin to empathize with this regressive obsessional attachment I have with T. How cool to have found a whole forum full of friendly, supportive, amazing and accepting folks with the same sorts of issues. Makes me feel much less lonely, and like much less of a freak. Wink
HIC, no probs.

That's why I love the net too. A kind of community develops from all parts of the world on similar issues. Is nice Smiler

One thing I've been concerned of as of late is becoming too 'comfortable' in my own depressions. Sometimes I think that T being this caring is something I shouldn't rely on 100%. I always want to be looked after because I didn't get the adequate allowance in learning to look after myself. Lately I've realized that I must start looking after myself without desperately relying on T or anyone else to direct my life for me.

Hard to know this when I'm feeling so up in the air with myself. Maybe it's a matter of relaxing and actually sinking into T's care each week in hope that her compassion gives me some strength to move forward by myself? It's difficult because I want to learn to trust better and rely on friends to help me but at the same time, become an individual!
interesting thought to ponder...comfortable in your own depression. I guess it can be comforting if it's what is predictable and known. I can relate to feeling comfortable when I'm in a particularly pensive or contemplative mood. When depression hits though - I just want to die.

So I'm grateful that I can continue working to ward off the depression. My T, this forum, and a lot of info. I have gained through research have shed light on the subject and its roots for me. This awareness seems to help me from sinking into the deep despair.
I'm grateful that is Saturday which is my lazy day! I'm grateful that I can have the day to myself since my roomie is away for the weekend. I'm also very grateful and blessed to have such wonderful friends that kept me company last night and that we had a fun and laughter filled girls night that lasted til the wee hours of the morning. Smiler today is a good day.
this is a cool list!

I'm grateful for
~ my very kind level 1 ballet instructor who always makes me smile with joy every week with her patience and praise for everyone in the class
~ people with lots of courage that inspire me to keep trying
~ that I have pens and pencils and paper to write with when I'm stressed

btw, strummergirl ~ your comment about your dog totally made me laugh. I would be grateful for that too!
alapca ~ yay for good friends and normal bloodwork!!!
raven ~ you must be a great auntie Smiler I hope you have a super fun week with the boys!
waking each morning regardless of what the day may hold and being greeted by my boydog as if we'd been separated for ages - his bed is 3ft from mine!

at my age, still being pretty good at my job and known as 'the go to' person!

being able to give as much cheek back to my younger colleagues as they give to me - even if sometimes they accidentally hits a sore spot inside!

being greeted each after work each day by my boydog!

having contact with people on this forum who feel like family to me!!

my dear T who has helped me make some changes late in life!
This is a cool thread.

I'm grateful:

- that Jane is taking ballet. That made me smile;


- for Morgs' boydog. That also made me smile. I need a boydog too;

- that I haven't completely lost my mind .... yet;


- that my daughter got to her destination okay;

- for my almost 5 year old who manages to put a smile on my face at least 3 times every day.
Today I am grateful for

a free day
my friend M who just rang me and gave me a hug down the phone
my dear H who is just gorgeous and makes me laugh
my son who gave me a little compact mirror which has inscribed on it:
Dear Mum, I love you dearly and always will, (his name)

I cried that was so LOVElY

for my daughter who is just a love herself.

My t who is sweet and kind and steady and I love him.

For a heart that CAN love.

For the beginnings of being able to feel loved, it is fleeting but it is beginning to happen.

For my voice, which is just a gift.

For my intelligence

For TEA, I would not be able to exist without it!

For our home which is beautiful

for the car I bought my husband and I get to drive a lot, it is AMAZING

for being fortunate to be able to be financially okay

for my good and true friends
- I'm thankful for trying something new: taking a soup recipe from online, reading the reviews, making my own "tweaks" and successfully making a soup for dinner for my family last night (one child chose bologna over the soup, but one child asked for seconds and two other children gobbled it up, H liked it)

- I'm thankful for my home and not having to or choosing to walk away from it, even though we are upside down in it, thankful for the financial ability to keep going (due to H's job) (hurting and worried about my sister's situation, tho)

- I'm thankful I have the ability to love my kids so soooo much; that nothing from my past is hurting me so badly that I can't see what they need (still make mistakes, but I'm generally okay with the idea that I'm not perfect)
-I haven't gotten the flu yet even though DH has it.

-My dad. Even though he isn't perfect, I'm lucky to have one who really loves me and is there for me now, however much he messed up in the past.

-Nice weather today.

Incidentally, I'm going to mention this daily gratitude thing seemed cheesy at first, but I think it's actually helping me focus on the positive. I feel happier.
I'm trying to be grateful even though I am not feeling too great...

-I'm greatful for my 2 beautiful children who always try their hardest and achieve great things
-I'm greatful for my husband always loving and respecting me, even though I don't always deserve it
-I'm greatful for my mother and brother
-I'm greatful for my spirituality and God, because without that I would not be here today
-I'm even grateful for my bad experiences because without them I would lack understanding
-I'm grateful for good friends
-I'm greatful for sunrises and sunsets
-I'm grateful for my new home in a safe country and I pray for those people who are unable to leave the crime and violence in my home country.
-I'm grateful for all my senses - I cannot imagine living without any one of them

and I'm grateful for this forum because I feel free to speak my mind.
[quote]I'm trying to be grateful even though I am not feeling too great...

-I'm grateful for my 2 beautiful children who always try their hardest and achieve great things
-I'm grateful for my husband always loving and respecting me, even though I don't always deserve it
-I'm grateful for my mother and brother
-I'm grateful for my spirituality and God, because without that I would not be here today
-I'm even grateful for my bad experiences because without them I would lack understanding
-I'm grateful for good friends
-I'm grateful for sunrises and sunsets
-I'm grateful for my new home in a safe country and I pray for those people who are unable to leave the crime and violence in my home country.
-I'm grateful for all my senses - I cannot imagine living without any one of them

and I'm grateful for this forum because I feel free to speak my mind.

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