Dating.

I'm wondering what others experiences and thoughts are on dating qhile in therapy and/or recovery.

I have ptsd, and its just a part of my lfie. It is less and less a part of my life, but still, battling the symptoms of ptsd is part of my life. I'm between 25 and 35 and single. I have not dated at all for several years (even despite o friends occasionally trying to match me up). I have avoided dating ever since starting therapy. It hasn't been for any therapjutic reason. It when my lfie fell apart badly and I started therapy a couple of years ago, dating just went to the bottom of my priority list.

I think it has stayed a very low priority because I keep thinking I'm too much of a mess, my life is too much of a mess. Why would anyone really want to date the rea me anyhow? I keep waiting until I reach some kind of unknown (to myself) level of being good enough and healed enough before I start dating again... and struggling with the idea that things will never be good enough.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked my t about what she thought of me trying to maybe date again and she was all for it. Even when things were a mess for me.

So I'm going to start, I guess, maybe thinking about it. I figure it would be a long process anyhow to find the rare kind of person that wouldn't run frm my "stuff" (and take awhile to build up to someone knowing me that well anyhow).

I have a few close friends offline who know my "stuff" and don't seem to mind. They are pretty good friendships. And a lot of people just don't have any idea I struggle with the stuff that I do.

Most of my friends and co-workers over 23 have dated someone they have met and/or been matched up with online. So I'm starting tere... I just filled out a survey for one site recommended to me (by way too many. And ugh the questions...

"What is the most important quality your partner should have?"

Um....

I find this all to be rather hard to sort out. Not just for the questionaire but for life! All my really honest answers would be someone who can be real about their stuff, put up with mine and not abuse me... yeah... I tink I feel like my bar isn't high enough, and yet is too high at the same time.

I'll figure out something honest and hopefully not too scary to say for the questionaire... that is besides the point a little.

Has anyone found dating really confusing thing to figure out while going through working through stuff in therapy?

My stuff will never 100 percent go away, but everyone has stuff... right?

I just want to live life. I don't want someone because I think they will make my life better, I just don't want to keep avoiding this like the plague.

Maybe all I will do is show myself that I'm not ready or good enough yet, but I guess I want to still maybe try. Maybe. Ugh.

Things were just not supposed to turn out this way....

jane