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Hi R2G -

DBT is awesome IMHO. There are two types that I know of individual and group. A lot of my therapy individually with my T trained in DBT we don't focus on learning skills (because I did that in group) but we will refer to skills - make plans along the same lines that DBT uses so I can cope. She will educate me if something might work but a lot of our therapy has moved on from that - I still use the skills a lot.

Group was really where I learned stuff - we'd process when we'd go over our "homework" (noticing situations, or discussing situations we could employ our skills, or getting feedback on what we could do in a situation). Basically T would cover a new concept and we'd practice or discuss in group. A lot of it was still talking because you can't integrate new skills unless you use them and with adults things are learned easier when there is practical life application. We'd do mindfulness, communication/decision making and affect tolerance modules.

It definitely assisted and continues to assist in my ED recovery and also to manage my intense anxiety. I've also gotten better interpersonally as a result. So, I think other Ts can help you with the same stuff, just with DBT they may have a wider/different box of resources for you to use (it's not like CBT, but there are elements there). IT could because my talk and DBT therapy were integrated but I'm pretty sure that is how it is supposed to work. It's basically like a lifeskills class - then you talk about how to use it via issues in your life. DBT Ts also are traditionally suggested to be more "available" than other Ts (I've found this to be very true) and may have more experience in dealing with extreme behaviors. When I call my T she will usually calm me down by reminding me of things I can do while being there to hold the space.

Hopefully maybe... that helps? I think overall it's supposed to be the relationship w/ your T that will help the most but the education in skills and stuff is very beneficial (example: I learned the emergency box thing from there).
Thanks for the detailed reply Cat.

My T suggested it as a potential add on, and to be honest, I totally flipped out. At least it would be a time bound group, instead of additional "therapy" I suppose. There is a group that runs 8-10 week sessions nearby that T wants me to think about joining because I have been really unstable lately, and unable to regulate myself.

What kind of homework do you get? When your ED is in remission, do you still find it helpful? I like the idea of a "lifeskills" class, since I feel like I missed out on that course while growing up Wink but I don't like the idea of working with yet another person on my team - I'm already attached to three of my five team members (the three I see regularly) and I don't think I can handle another attachment relationship.
Hi R2G,

The homework was just applying skills. For example making an emergency box, applying a communication skill (how to ask for something needed, for example), making a decision using a different method (there is a pro's con's thing in DBT that is not like a normal pro/con list), being mindful/noticing things around you and writing those down, etc. Application of skills. When I am in remission I use my skills to keep me there - some (like learning how to negotiate effectively, learning how to communicate my feelings, learning how to calm down when I'm upset about anything) are just part of my daily routine. I don't know if you'd necessarily get 'attached' to your DBT group therapist, but if you are inclined to many attachment figures or transference reactions to people in authority or care-taking roles then it could be a bit of a trouble. And that is a lot for one heart to handle!

I found myself, in time, really attached to my group members... you learn their lives, their struggles, their inner being... it's hard not to find love in your heart for them (to cry with them, to think of them, to support them and accept them supporting you) and it's very hard to leave. I can understand though, not wanting more people on your 'team' I've had 4 at a time before plus 2 groups and... it was hard but worth it! Sounds like a lot to be doing (and it is) so I can understand your reaction. I walked in to my group(s) the first day and had two thoughts: 1) This sucks and I hate working in groups and I don't understand how this will help me... and 2) there are way too many chicks in this room, I hate them already. Smiler I walked out better able to connect to people - which was a big problem in my ED perpetuating.

It's not easy, and I spent a lot of time rolling my eyes, but... still might be worth it to meet with the group T and see what it's about. Usually once you join a DBT group - because the group needs consistency/stability - they will make you "sign on" for a certain # of classes. Some... not all.
Thanks for the clarification Cat.

The attachment part is definitely a fear - attaching to group members and/or the leader. That, and the fact that I can get really competitive in a group setting, and I'm not sure how helpful that would be for where I am right now. I like the idea of meeting the group T and doing an initial "interview" of sorts. My T actually mentioned making a phone call to inquire about it, so maybe I'll wait and see how that goes.

BTW - love that you're sharing your blog now!

xo
R2G
R2G -

Ack I'm scared but for now I'm okay sharing hehe. I think even asking that T (if you do a phone thing) about being competitive might be a good idea - they work hard to keep a good dynamic. A little competitive spirit never hurt anyone. My RD was super competitive and told me once (because we had to do group eating challenges) that she knows when I do something I want to do the best and that sometimes means out doing everyone else. Which freaked me out at first - but.. it's so true. I feel no more motivation on earth than when someone is better at me than something - I strive to improve. BUT that can also be bad if you're ED competitive (which a lot of women are). Anyway - I feel like I scared you off groups! But I hope you'll talk w/ that T to see if it's the right thing. Hug two take good care of yourself!

PS: DBT (and other therapy I'm involved in (SE, Client-centered)) seems like such a rare thing for lots of people to be involved in around here so I feel a little rabid about how good I think it is - it just really helped me LOL Sorry if what I wrote felt pushy or anything Frowner definitely not intended.
You can always pull it out of your signature - but I love that even if only for a little while, you're sharing with us Smiler

You didn't scare me off groups - I actually participated in an ACOA group for almost a year, and it was very poorly organized and run, and THAT experience has me frightened! It sounds like the DBT groups are much more structured and organized, and have definitive start/end times with tangible goals. (The group I was in had a start time, but could go for 3-4 hours as there was no end time... it was NOT good for someone like me!) The bonus would be that the DBT leader would not be my T, so there would be less chance for me to get attached/competitive/want to impress my T, since she wouldn't be MY T. (The last group I was in, T was the leader, which made it all the more worse for me, actually!)

Competition is a good thing, but for me it only drives my OCD/Anxiety batty. Lord knows I don't need any help in that department!

I will keep you posted - I see my T this afternoon and this will most definitely be a topic of conversation Big Grin

(((Cat)))
R2G, that ACOA group sounded really unboundaried. DBT groups are usually very structured, with good time boundaries, and other boundaries too. They generally last 10 weeks, and sometimes then start all over, but the workbooks they often use are structured to last for 10 sessions.

DBT is not for everyone, but I have done DBT and found it very helpful... so my input is a bit biased. Smiler

One of my fav sites about dbt is here: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/

There's something really helpful about working on DBT stuff in a DBT group, and with a different T than my individual T. I dunno why those factors helped me so much, but they did.

I hope your session with your T went well!

~jane
Jane, the ACOA group was horrible, and actually a really big set-back for me. When I left that group, I also left my T (as she was running the group) as we weren't seeing eye to eye. I left her on good terms, but it took me a good two years to get back into therapy with a T I could work with and trust (current T - whom I adore)

I actually stumbled on that site the other day, and was overwhelmed by it! I am so easily overwhelmed these days, which now I can see why T suggested DBT in the first place. We both agreed that we can put it off until school starts and I get settled back into a safe routine. If that smooths things out, then DBT can wait till next summer (if ever Wink ) otherwise, we will revisit the topic then.

The good news is that I like the time constraint of 8-10 weeks. I think I can handle that. I'm just really anxious about starting with anyone new (even though I'll still have T and NT and the rest of my team) because I don't want to have to explain myself yet again, nor do I want to run the chance of getting attached to a temporary situation.

Ugh. Yucky place tonight. Off for more Xanax....
Catalyst, I have found a center that is a 3 month long program where you attend group, work with a DBT trained therapist, and have a case manager. THe program costs a LOT of money and I can only afford the group which is significantly cheaper than the whole program. When you attended DBT did you work with a group and DBT therapist?
Do you think attending just a group would have any benefit?
R2G - a group with no end time sounds horrible. Mine was 1.5hrs/week some people recieved 2 of those a week in a more Intensive program. Glad you and your T will look in to it again next summer if needed!

Snape - group is the way to go IMHO and provided a ton of benefit. It's recommended that way. It was helpful my DBT therapist knew the skills and stuff so we could reference them but I'm not sure DBT wise it made that big a difference (the other stuff we did like talk made a huge difference like any T). I've found little difference between my client centered T and the one who knows DBT as far as the work we accomplish in general. For the education stuff group is great.

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