Bluesky,

I would find the comment invalidating. I think you are totally justified in feeling hurt. Will you be dealing with her in the future? I don't know that I would say something to her but then again maybe someone else would. I think I would definitely keep it in the back of my mind, though, that she does not seem to really have a handle on her own anger and defensiveness and I might refuse to work with her in the future. If I was forced to, I might say something at that point.

(((bluesky)))

I think that would have hurt my feelings too At the very least for the fact that you're saying something is a concern to you and will be difficult, and hearing that she can't believe you haven't done it before. I guess I personally feel that age shouldn't have even been brought up by her. I'm sorry you got that reaction, and I think you're very brave for entering a program that you feel will be difficult.

FWIW, I've done CBT work before, and am just beginning DBT as of a few weeks ago now, and I have similar fears about the structure of it. I think even if someone has done structured therapy before, just doing something new can be a real challenge. Therapy in general is a challenge for that matter, and I think the concerns a client feels should be taken seriously.

As far as how to handle it, I really couldn't say, but if you feel comfortable enough to tell her how the comment made you feel it might be beneficial for at least letting her know how her choice of words makes a difference. Best wishes to you